


very pink of courtesy

by esthernn



Series: two households, both failing pre-calculus [1]
Category: Romeo And Juliet - Shakespeare
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Chatting & Messaging, F/M, Getting Together, Humor, M/M, Modern Era, Multi, Slow Burn, benvolios gay, chatfic, i spend more time on this than on my schoolwork, juliet loves romeo and no one understands why, lowkey crack but i put effort into it, mercutio wants to drop out, romeo wants to be a frat boy, they all gently bully each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:49:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 33
Words: 26,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25586206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/esthernn/pseuds/esthernn
Summary: bromeo: me and juliet are going on a date tmrwmercuti_ohno: what the FUCKthe.ben: congrats but uhh whatthe.ben: she yelled at you for fifteen minutes not even an hour agomercuti_ohno: she fucking hates you dude.....the romeo and juliet characters, but they're in high school.
Relationships: Juliet Capulet/Romeo Montague, Mercutio/Benvolio Montague
Series: two households, both failing pre-calculus [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2140980
Comments: 351
Kudos: 141





	1. pink glitter

\-- **saturdays are for the boys**

**mercuti_ohno** : you fucking asshole

**the.ben** : romeo

**bromeo** : what

**bromeo** : i didn’t do anything

**mercuti_ohno:** can u not piss off juliet for like ten seconds

**mercuti_ohno** : she’s the only thing getting me through physics

**mercuti_ohno** : now she’s mad at you and won’t give me the homework

**bromeo** : i didn’t piss her off i stg

**mercuti_ohno** : yeah u fucking did

**mercuti_ohno** : i have physics in fifteen minutes

**bromeo** : i swear i didn’t do anything

**the.ben** : i literally watched you spill like eight pounds of pink glitter into her backpack

**bromeo** : oh that was nothing lmao

**mercuti_ohno:** 👁️👄👁️

**the.ben** : she spent the rest of the period screaming at you

**the.ben** : like just in the middle of math

**bromeo** : oh dw about that it was romantic

**mercuti_ohno** : romeo what the fuck is wrong with you

**bromeo** : what it was nice

**mercuti_ohno** : what in gods name would make you think that that is nice

**mercuti_ohno** : go apologize to juliet

**bromeo** : i didn’t do anything wrong

**the.ben** : pls just do it

**the.ben** : tell her you’ll help fix anything you messed up

**bromeo** : ok fine i’ll text you assholes later ❤️

**the.ben** : ❤️

**the.ben** : see mercutio was that so bad

**the.ben** : it’ll all be fine

**mercuti_ohno** : if he doesn’t piss her off again

**the.ben** : eh

**the.ben** : do you wanna get ice cream after school

**mercuti_ohno** : oh yeah meet me out front

\---

**bromeo** : guys

**bromeo** : guys guess what

**the.ben** : what

**mercuti_ohno** : she texted me the answers so we good

**bromeo** : me and juliet are going on a date tmrw

**mercuti_ohno** : what the FUCK

**the.ben** : congrats but uhh what

**the.ben** : she yelled at you for fifteen minutes not even an hour ago

**mercuti_ohno** : she fucking hates you dude

**bromeo** : she thought the glitter was romantic once i explained it to her

**mercuti_ohno** : i just lost so much respect for juliet holy shit

**mercuti_ohno** : you’re such a dick to her

**bromeo** : wdym i flirt with her all the time

**mercuti_ohno** : romeo i love you (no homo) but ur idea of flirting is painting her locker with really ugly hearts

**the.ben** : mercutio ur literally bi

**bromeo** : it was sweet!!

**mercuti_ohno** : it was vandalism

**bromeo** : ok assholes i’m adding her to the gc

**the.ben** : nono nonononoo make a new one

**the.ben** : have you read half the shit mercutio just said

**the.ben** : he’s an asshole but you can’t fuck with his hw plug

**mercuti_ohno** : yeah pls don’t make me actually learn physics

\---

**bromeo** has created a new chat

**bromeo** has added **mercuti_ohno**

**bromeo** has added **the.ben**

**bromeo** has added **julieee**

**bromeo** : hey guys!!

**julieee:** heyyy 💞

**the.ben** : hi julie!!

**the.ben** : what are you doing with my cousin ur way too good for him

**bromeo** has named the chat **ap lit gang**

**bromeo** : hey what the fuck

**julieee** : did you guys do the lit project yet

**mercuti_ohno** : answer for your crimes juliet

**julieee** : idk he’s nice

**mercuti_ohno** : no he’s not

**the.ben** : when i came out to him he asked if i was gonna ask him out

**bromeo** : dude i told you i was sorry

**the.ben** : we’re literally cousins

**bromeo** : i’m sorry!!!!

**mercuti_ohno** : AHAHAHAHAHAHA I REMEMBER THAT

**mercuti_ohno** : JULIE DO YOU REMEMBER THAT ONE MONTH WHEN ROMEO KEPT HARASSING BEN TO MAKE HIM LISTEN TO LADY GAGA SONGS HE DOWNLOADED

**julieee** : was that the time he kept trying to chase him down in between classes

**julieee** : and during lunch

**julieee** : and during classes

**mercuti_ohno** : THAT WAS HIM TRYING TO BE SUPPORTIVE

**julieee** : NO

**bromeo** : I WAS DOING MY BEST

**julieee** : so none of you started the lit project?

**bromeo** : what lit project

**the.ben** : bruh

**the.ben** : it’s due monday

**the.ben** : and since i know juliet’s the only one who can do math, that’s in three days

**mercuti_ohno** : thanks for the confidence in my ability to count on my fingers

**mercuti_ohno** : what’s the project

**julieee** : basically you analyze one of the characters in the play but like rlly deep

**julieee** : three pages on their development as a character and then you need to put together a presentation about their traits and something else that’s up to you

**julieee** : mrs. marvin gave absolutely no guidance on what that something else bc she’s a shitty teacher

**the.ben** : bonus points if you present in character

**mercuti_ohno** : i’m gonna do mine on why cyrano and christian definitely should’ve hooked up

**bromeo** : what book are we reading

**mercuti_ohno** : dude even i finished reading

**julieee** : cyrano de bergerac

**bromeo** : gesundheit 😀

**mercuti_ohno** : wait i can’t name a single trait of any of the characters

**the.ben** : i can help you

**bromeo** : wait juliet can you help me

**julieee** : lets see how the date goes first lmao

**mercuti_ohno** : ben, my place after ice cream?

**the.ben** : perfect

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got bored so I wrote a shakespearean chatfic. That's just the way it is sometimes. This chapter's kinda short, but future ones will be longer.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading. Let me know what you think!


	2. gay rights

\--direct message: **julieee** to **the.ben**

 **julieee** : which character are you doing

 **the.ben** : christian

 **the.ben** : mercutio is doing cyrano and i don’t want to do the same one as him

 **the.ben** : he thought he would be easy lmao

 **julieee** : there’s like three major characters idk how this assignment makes sense

 **julieee** : i’m doing christian too

 **the.ben** : oh god did romeo pick roxanne

 **julieee** : ofc

 **julieee** : how’d you guess

 **the.ben** : wait how was the date

 **julieee** : really good!!

 **julieee** : romeo’s really sweet and i really like him

 **the.ben** : i love him but

 **the.ben** : what

 **julieee** : i know you guys like bully each other but he is really a cool guy

 **julieee** : plus he’s hot

 **the.ben** : julie

 **the.ben:** no ❤️

 **the.ben** : i still think ur way too good for him

 **julieee** : i’m too good for everyone

 **the.ben** : damn

 **the.ben** : will there be any more dates then

 **julieee** : yup!! after school monday we’re seeing a movie

 **the.ben** : oh which movie

 **the.ben** : and i hope ur driving bc i do not trust romeo

 **julieee** : he’s driving

 **julieee** : and we’re seeing the new marvel movie

 **the.ben** : god help you

 **the.ben** : i can’t keep track of those movies

 **julieee** : so what about you and mercutio

 **the.ben** : wdym

 **julieee** : are u guys gonna keep meeting up

 **the.ben** : i think so

 **the.ben** : he needs a lot more help with his project

 **julieee** : well yeah ofc

 **julieee** : i don’t expect him to be able to do it without you

 **julieee** : but you obviously like him

 **the.ben** : what

 **the.ben** : how did you know

 **julieee** : idk it's just really obvious

 **julieee** : yesterday in spanish the teacher asked you to say who your amigos are and you talked about mercutio for ten minutes

 **the.ben** : wait julie you can’t tell anyone

 **julieee** : i won’t i promise

 **julieee** : are you gonna tell him

 **the.ben** : god no

 **the.ben** : we’re best friends i don’t want to mess with that

 **julieee** : i can respect that

 **julieee** : but lmk how those homework sessions are going

 **the.ben** : of course

\---

\-- **ap lit gang**

 **mercuti_ohno** : cyrano had the phattest crush on christian and i stand by that

 **mercuti_ohno** : and vice versa

 **the.ben** : no offense but duh

 **julieee** : they kiss in the james macavoy version

 **bromeo** : gay rights!! 🏳️🌈

 **the.ben** : thanks romeo

 **mercuti_ohno** : as they should

 **mercuti_ohno** : the constant sexual tension-

 **julieee** : is that what ur writing about

 **mercuti_ohno** : yup

 **mercuti_ohno** : and marvin can’t give me a bad grade for it or i’ll go to my guidance counselor

 **the.ben** : u haven’t written anything and it’s due in two days

 **the.ben** : name five traits cyrano has

 **mercuti_ohno** : what does that have to do with anything

 **the.ben** : it’s literally part of the assignment

 **the.ben** : last night you got so distracted that you ended up playing minecraft for three hours

 **mercuti_ohno** : YOU PLAYED IT WITH ME

 **the.ben** : BC YOU DISTRACTED ME

 **mercuti_ohno** : MAYBE YOU DISTRACTED ME

 **the.ben** : I FINISHED HALF MY ESSAY

 **mercuti_ohno** : WHAT ESSAY

 **the.ben** : THE ONE ABOUT CHARACTERIZATION

 **the.ben** : ITS A THIRD OF THE ASSIGNMENT

 **mercuti_ohno** : SO WHAT

 **the.ben** : SO I DON’T WANT YOU TO FAIL ASSHOLE

 **mercuti_ohno** : WELL I’M LAZY SO FUCK YOU

 **the.ben** : UR GONNA GET AN A ON THIS FUCKING ASSIGNMENT

 **the.ben** : BE AT MY HOUSE IN AN HOUR

 **mercuti_ohno** : FINE

 **bromeo** : huh

\---

\--direct message: **julieee** to **the.ben**

 **julieee** : soooo

 **julieee** : how’d it goooo

 **the.ben** : we both finished out characterization essays

 **julieee** : mhm

 **the.ben** : i started my poster w/ the traits while he finished

 **julieee** : anything else

 **the.ben** : we ate pasta??

 **julieee** : omg ur as dumb as ur friends

 **julieee** : you know what i want to know

 **the.ben** : nothing happened..

 **julieee** : but?

 **the.ben** : i got good vibes??

 **the.ben** : like idk we just had a lot of fun and he sat rlly close to me on the couch

 **julieee** : awww

 **the.ben** : we’re gonna meet up tomorrow so hopefully we can finish

 **the.ben** : i kinda wanna invite u + romeo butttt

 **julieee** : no

 **julieee** : you guys have to BOND

 **julieee** : plus i wanna spend time with my bf too :)

 **the.ben** : your what

 **the.ben** : damn ok congrats

 **julieee** : ty ❤️

 **julieee** : you’d better update me tomorrow

 **the.ben** : ofc ❤️

\---

\-- **ap lit gang**

 **the.ben** : do u assholes wanna do something

 **mercuti_ohno** : u literally just left my house

 **the.ben** : yeah but now i’m bored

 **bromeo** : i know about a good party

 **bromeo** : my brother’s frat is throwing it

 **the.ben** : that’s such a bad idea lmao

 **the.ben** : we look nowhere near 21 and we can barely pass for 18

 **the.ben** : julie no offense but you look 13

 **julieee** : no i do

 **the.ben** : let’s go hahaha

 **mercuti_ohno** : damn benvolio’s getting rebellious

 **bromeo** : our boy’s all grown up 😢

 **mercuti_ohno** : i’m so proud of him 🙃

 **the.ben** : fuck you both

 **julieee** : who’s driving

 **the.ben** : me or you

 **the.ben** : i don’t trust romeo and mercutio’s license is suspended

 **mercuti_ohno** : damn you go 75 in a school zone one time…

 **julieee** : if u guys text me your addresses i can pick you up

 **bromeo** : thanks!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is way too fun to write.


	3. frat boy romeo

\--ap lit gang

 **the.ben** : so uhh

 **the.ben** : who’s gonna check on romeo

 **julieee** : not me

 **julieee:** i have homework and also do not want to deal with my hungover bf

 **julieee** : i swear i’m a good gf but tbh this is on him

 **mercuti_ohno** : nah it’s not ur fault he decided he was a frat boy

 **mercuti_ohno** : and that they somehow thought romeo was 21

 **mercuti_ohno:** but thought that all of us were even younger than we actually are

 **juliee:** to be fair i do look 13

 **the.ben** : u do but we don’t

 **the.ben** : bruh was it that hard to believe we were 21

 **the.ben** : to be fair we are sixteen and dress like five year old boys

 **mercuti_ohno** : he won’t text me back i’ll go drive over

 **julieee** : ty

 **the.ben** : lmk how he is

 **the.ben** : and how much i’ll need to lie to my aunt

 **mercuti_ohno** : ofc

\---

\--direct message: **mercuti_ohno** to **the.ben**

 **mercuti_ohno** : he was asleep when i got there but he’s good

 **mercuti_ohno** : and his mom thinks we went to the playground last night and that he fell off the monkey bars

 **the.ben** : 👁️👄👁️

 **the.ben** : who’s gonna tell her

 **mercuti_ohno** : that some chad beat the shit out of him while he was leaving you some drunk voicemail about juliet? not me

 **the.ben** : thanks for going over there

 **the.ben** : make sure he’s hydrated pls

 **mercuti_ohno** : oh no problem

 **mercuti_ohno** : i figured you needed the time for the lit project

 **the.ben** : no mercutio you have the project too

 **the.ben** : i’m ahead of you i could’ve gone instead

 **mercuti_ohno** : no it’s ok I’d rather you do well

 **mercuti_ohno** : you’ve been working so hard

 **the.ben** : i’d rather YOU do well

 **the.ben** : he’s my stupid cousin i could’ve dealt with him while you caught up

 **mercuti_ohno** : it’s hard to do well without u anyway

 **mercuti_ohno** : like deadass you make hw not suck

 **the.ben** : i’ll do whatever u need

 **the.ben** : and tysm for checking on him i’m serious

 **mercuti_ohno** : i told you it’s no trouble at all

 **the.ben** : come over after?

 **mercuti_ohno** : sure

 **mercuti_ohno** : pick a good movie for when we’re done with our projects

\---

\--direct message: **the.ben** to **julieee**

 **the.ben** sent img_731

 **the.ben** sent img_732

 **the.ben** sent img_733

 **the.ben** : juliet look at this

 **julieee** : AHH OMG

 **julieee** : THAT SHIT IS SO CUTE

 **the.ben** : WHAT DOES IT MEAN

 **the.ben** : JULIE SERIOUSLY

 **the.ben** : IM FREAKIGN OUT

 **julieee** : I THINK HE LIKES YOU BACK

 **the.ben** : NO WAY

 **the.ben** : HE’S JUST BEING NICE

 **julieee** : “YOU MAKE HOMEWORK NOT SUCK” 😏😏😏

 **the.ben** : WE’RE JUST GOOD FRIENDS

 **julieee** : wE’eR jUsT gOoD fRiEnDs

 **the.ben** : WAIT SHUT UP FOR A SECOND HE’S TEXTING ME

\---

\--direct message: **mercuti_ohno** to **the.ben**

 **mercuti_ohno** : i’m heading over now

 **mercuti_ohno** : romeo’s good

 **the.ben** : oh tysm

 **the.ben** : i picked star wars btw

 **mercuti_ohno** : i hope the original trilogy

 **mercuti_ohno** : i’m so fucking tired dude i’ll probably fall asleep on you

 **the.ben** : hahaha that’s fine

\---

\--direct message: **the.ben** to **julieee**

 **the.ben** sent img_734

 **the.ben** sent img_735

 **julieee** : GAYYYY

 **julieee** : THATS GAY

 **julieee** : “hahaha that’s fine”

 **the.ben** : shut upppp i didn’t know what to say

 **julieee** : u guys are so cute 🥺

 **the.ben** : fellas is it gay for your best friend to say he’s gonna fall asleep on you

 **julieee** : yeh

 **the.ben** : i’ll text u when he gets here

 **julieee** : ok!!

\---

\--direct message: **the.ben** to **julieee**

 **the.ben** : he’s deadass asleep on my shoulder rn what do i do

 **julieee** : KISSS

 **the.ben** : now that he’s asleep i might actually be able to focus enough to finish this stupid project

 **the.ben** : but i don’t want to wake him up

 **julieee** : 🥺🥺🥺

 **the.ben** : i’m gonna try to reallyyyyy gently lay him down

 **julieee** : 😳 good luck

 **the.ben** : ok those were the longest ten seconds of my life but he’s asleep on my couch

 **the.ben** : i’m gonna get him a blanket

 **julieee** : actual goals omg

 **the.ben** : ok i can actually focus now thank god

\---

\--ap lit gang

 **the.ben** : AND OUR PROJECTS ARE BOTH OFFICIALLY DONE

 **julieee** : YESSSS U DID IT

 **julieee** : me and romeo are almost done

 **mercuti_ohno** : HA losers

 **bromeo** : 🖕🖕🖕

 **mercuti_ohno** : glad to see ur awake enough to text back now

 **bromeo:** glad to see u still look like a preteen

 **the.ben** : damn

 **the.ben** : ice cream at Mackie’s when you guys are done to celebrate?

 **mercuti_ohno** : i’m down

 **bromeo** : ^

 **julieee** : ^

\---

\--direct message: **mercuti_ohno** to **julieee**

 **mercuti_ohno** : hey quick question has ben been talking about me

 **julieee** : oh why

 **mercuti_ohno** : nvm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've uploaded the third chapter in one night god help me


	4. character traits

\--ap lit gang

 **julieee** : good luck everyone! 💞

 **mercuti_ohno** : i’m so scared holy fuck

 **the.ben** : you’ll be fine dw

 **the.ben** : just rant at the conservative english teacher about how the play she made us read should’ve been gayer

 **the.ben** : it’ll work out great

 **mercuti_ohno** : very helpful benny

 **bromeo** : at least i know my project’s gonna be awesome

 **julieee** : it really is a good project i think you’ll do well

 **mercuti_ohno** : romeo how much do u wanna bet that benvolio and juliet outscore us both by at least 10 points

 **bromeo** : i know i’m not gonna do ten full points worse

 **mercuti_ohno** : so you’ll take it?

 **bromeo** : twenty bucks

 **mercuti_ohno** : damn ok

 **the.ben** : if u win you’d better split that money with me

 **the.ben** : since ur betting on me and all

 **julieee** : hey what about me

 **the.ben** : you can have some of my share

 **bromeo** : if i win u can have some of mine instead since u tutored me

 **julieee** : ❤️❤️❤️

 **julieee** : ok

 **the.ben** : lmao he’s way too confident

 **the.ben** : ur definitely gonna lose but more money for me

 **bromeo** : nah bro it’s seriously a good project

 **julieee** : he really did do well i promise

\---

\--ap lit gang

 **the.ben** : AKSJDHDHSKAKAKAHDGH

 **the.ben** : ROMEO WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT

 **mercuti_ohno** : deadass

 **bromeo** : idkkkkk

 **bromeo** : i just named roxanne’s personality traits??

 **mercuti_ohno** : you described her as hot, sexy, old timey, and sad

 **mercuti_ohno** : that’s not even five traits

 **the.ben** : LMAOOO

 **the.ben** : wait shut up for a second mrs. marvin’s looking for phones

 **the.ben** : ok she’s looking away again

 **bromeo** : i don’t see the problem

 **bromeo** : me and julie watched the movie and i think i described roxanne pretty well

 **mercuti_ohno** : bro i promise u did not

 **the.ben** : oh julie’s up

 **mercuti_ohno** : romeo how is she dating you

 **mercuti_ohno** : like deadass

 **the.ben** : i’ve learned more about christian’s characterization in twenty seconds of her speaking than i have in this entire unit

 **the.ben** : yeah maybe every character does have an inferiority complex

 **the.ben** : go off juliet

 **bromeo** : idek

 **bromeo** : maybe my awesome flirting?

 **mercuti_ohno** : sorry but that’s literally impossible 

**the.ben** : i’m captivated

 **the.ben** : this is so much better than my presentation wtf

 **the.ben** : me: i think that christian’s love for roxanne drives him to change as a person

juliet: society only looks at what you lack and not you have, causing everyone, even the man known for his beauty, to be insecure, thus illustrating success as a social construct

 **mercuti_ohno** : oh to be smart 😔 

**the.ben** : oh my god i love her 

**bromeo** : hey that’s my gf

 **the.ben** : romeo 

**bromeo** : she is way too good for me

 **mercuti_ohno** : that’s what we’ve been SAYING

 **mercuti_ohno:** anyway u definitely lost the bet

 **bromeo** : i can’t believe my only chance at twenty bucks is YOU doing well

 **mercuti_ohno** : shit i think marvin just saw my phone

 **mercuti_ohno:** talk after 

\---

\--ap lit gang

 **julieee:** can u guys stfu during class

 **mercuti_ohno** : sorry

 **mercuti_ohno** : it’s just that romeo desperately had to be made fun of

 **the.ben** : and we did compliment you at least

 **julieee** : ok yeah valid

 **bromeo** : i did NOT deserve to be made fun of

 **julieee** : babe i’m so sorry but u kinda did

 **mercuti_ohno** : BABE?

 **bromeo:** ok but is roxanne or is she not hot, sexy, old timey, and sad? 

**julieee** : roxanne is in fact all those things but those are still really shit ways to describe her

 **julieee** : u told me u picked traits that had to do with her character???

 **bromeo** : i did?? she’s a character and those are her traits???

 **mercuti_ohno** : i know that’s wrong but idk why

 **julieee** : you… don’t know why?

 **mercuti_ohno** : i mean i know romeo’s an idiot but that was a very convincing explanation 

**the.ben** : u guys are so fucking stupid

 **the.ben** : i’m going to statistics

 **mercuti_ohno** : ✋👁️👄👁️✋

 **bromeo** : timothee chalamet ass

 **the.ben** : fuck u i’m gonna go to the class where ppl have an iq over 8

 **the.ben** : bc u guys don’t

 **mercuti_ohno** : luv u 😘

 **the.ben** : 🖕🖕🖕 

\---

\--direct message: **the.ben** to **julieee**

 **the.ben** : wait u saw that right

 **julieee** : i certainly did

 **julieee** : y’all 🥺

 **the.ben** : my brain’s on fire i’m freaking out

 **julieee** : what about statistics

 **the.ben** : fuck statistics mercutio said he loved me

 **the.ben** : as a joke but whatever

 **julieee** : u guys are so cute

 **julieee** : wait romeo’s texting me hang on

 **the.ben** : oooooh ur boyfriendddd

\--- 

\--direct message: **bromeo** to **julieee**

**bromeo** : has benvolio told u about anyone he might like

 **julieee** : why

 **bromeo** : idk i feel like he might be into tybalt

 **julieee** : as in my cousin tybalt?

 **julieee** : that asshole?

 **bromeo** : yeh

 **julieee** : lmao NO

 **julieee** : can u imagine hahahahahahaha

 **bromeo** : what i think ben could use a bf

 **julieee** : yeah but HIM? tybalt??

 **julieee** : plus he’s straight

 **bromeo** : wait really

 **bromeo** : but he took a picture of that rainbow when it rained yesterday

 **julieee** : ok we’re not unpacking that rn but that does not make him gay

 **julieee** : i’m heading to math now

 **julieee** : see you there!!

 **bromeo** : love you! 

**julieee** : love you ❤️

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this has no business being this fun to write. lmk what you think!


	5. paris, france

\--direct message: **captial_of_france** to **julieee**

 **captial_of_france:** hey!! do you know when the ap world test is??

 **julieee** : paris?

 **julieee** : i’m pretty sure it’s friday but don’t quote me on that

 **capital_of_france** : yeah mr. morrison’s changed the date like 80 times

 **capital_of_france** : lmk if you ever need someone to study with btw

 **julieee** : oh for sure!!

 **julieee** : tysm for the offer 💕

 **capital_of_france** : np!! ty for the info 

\---

\--ap lit gang

 **the.ben** : when do you guys think the grades are gonna come out

 **the.ben:** i’m so nervous

 **julieee** : probably tomorrow? she’s a pretty fast grader

 **mercuti_ohno** : by fast u mean she grades on how much she likes you

 **julieee** : well i mean she likes me and ben

 **the.ben** : bc we actually work hard lmao

 **bromeo** : i still think i’ll do well

 **mercuti_ohno** : bro

 **mercuti_ohno** : buddy

 **mercuti_ohno** : no

 **bromeo** : ok so what actual work do we have

 **julieee** : textbook for math, nothing for english yet, read the next chapter for spanish, and idk what you have for physics or history

 **bromeo** : ty!! ❤️

 **julieee** : np 💖

 **the.ben** : i’m so scared for my grade

 **mercuti_ohno** : stfu ben your presentation was amazing

 **mercuti_ohno** : if you get less than an A i will personally drag your ass to the principal to appeal

 **mercuti_ohno** : now can the ACTUALLY stupid people complain now

 **mercuti_ohno** : romeo its u and me

 **bromeo** : we’re fucked

 **bromeo** : and i’m gonna lose twenty bucks

 **mercuti_ohno** : at least i’ll make ten bucks

 **bromeo** : ben and julie better buy us ice cream when we fail

 **mercuti_ohno** : ^^^

 **julieee** : sure baby 💞

 **the.ben** : fuck no

 **mercuti_ohno** : please benny 🥺

 **the.ben** : only if you’re very very nice to me

 **mercuti_ohno** : YES!!!!

\---

\--direct message: **julieee** to **the.ben**

 **julieee** : weak

 **the.ben:** 😔

\---

\--ap lit gang

 **julieee** : ok i’m sleep

 **julieee** : gn!!

 **bromeo** : goodnight 😍

 **the.ben** : goodnight

 **mercuti_ohno** : gn

\---

\--direct message: **capital_of_france** to **julieee**

 **capital_of_france** : gm scores are up

 **capital_of_france** : what did you get

 **julieee** : holy shit they are??

 **julieee** : 98!!! omg

 **julieee** : u?

 **capital_of_france** : wow congrats

 **capital_of_france** : 95

 **julieee** : we really won

 **julieee** : does studying after school tomorrow work for u?

 **capital_of_france** : yeah that’s perfect!! I just have to leave at 8 for basketball practice if that’s ok

 **julieee** : yeah that’s fine! can i invite ben?

 **capital_of_france** : oh ofc!! ben’s awesome

 **julieee** : oh perfect i’ll let you know

\---

\--ap lit gang

 **julieee** : scores for lit are up i got a 98

 **julieee** : also is it ok if i add paris to the chat?

 **mercuti_ohno** : oh yeah add him

 **mercuti_ohno** : i have lunch with him

 **bromeo** : haha 98 that’s lit 😃

 **bromeo** : get it ap lit

 **bromeo** : i got a 63

 **julieee** has added **capital_of_france** to the chat

 **mercuti_ohno** : 74

 **mercuti_ohno** : ben it’s up to you whether we make money here

 **capital_of_france** : hey guys!!

 **the.ben** : 96 

**the.ben** : romeo u owe us twenty bucks

 **the.ben** : hi paris!!

 **mercuti_ohno** : YES

 **mercuti_ohno** : YEAH WE WON YES YES

 **bromeo** : FUCK

 **julieee** : lmao it’s ok

 **the.ben** : paris what did u get

 **capital_of_france** : 95

 **the.ben** : nice

 **julieee** : oh ben btw can u study with paris and i after school tomorrow

 **the.ben** : for world?

 **the.ben** : i can’t sorry i promised rosaline and laurence i’d study with them

 **capital_of_france** : ok!! let us know if anything changes

 **the.ben** : ofc

 **the.ben** : mackie’s after school again today right?

 **julieee** : yup

 **julieee** : paris we’re getting ice cream, you can come if you want

 **capital_of_france** : i’ll come! ty

 **mercuti_ohno** : you’d better still be paying ben

 **mercuti_ohno** : the gentleman always pays

 **the.ben** : fuck you

 **the.ben** : but i am paying bc you’ve been less of a douche than usual today

 **mercuti_ohno** : 😍 so kind benny

 **bromeo** : still paying for me juliet?

 **julieee** : yup!!

 **capital_of_france** : at least i don’t have to pay for anyone

 **the.ben** : please pay for mercutio instead

 **the.ben** : please

 **capital_of_france** : no ❤️

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am very ashamed to admit that i did write out schedule's for each of the characters. all 5 have ap lit together, but only juliet, benvolio, and paris have ap world. lmk if you have any questions!!
> 
> ty for reading!


	6. the music chapter

\--ap lit gang

 **bromeo** : favorite musical artist, go

 **mercuti_ohno** : 100 gecs, correct answer

 **the.ben** : fuck no

 **the.ben** : you’re just saying that to sound cool and unique or whatever

 **julieee** : he’s not like other girls ✨

 **mercuti_ohno** : no deadass

 **mercuti_ohno** : they make me feel secret emotions

 **mercuti_ohno** : i’m getting my adrenaline from 100 gecs or not at all

 **bromeo** : that’s so stupid

 **bromeo:** they’re not real music they’re just loud sounds

 **mercuti_ohno** : well what do you listen to then

 **bromeo** : kanye

 **the.ben** : HAHAHA

 **the.ben** : and that’s not also just loud sounds??

 **bromeo** : he’s a lyrical genius!!

 **mercuti_ohno** : poopity scoop 🤪

 **bromeo** : it’s ironic

 **mercuti_ohno** : at least 100 gecs KNOWS they’re unhinged

 **the.ben** : plus lyrical genius? ur kidding right

 **mercuti_ohno** : no don’t start about hozier again

 **the.ben** : he’s amazing!! his lyrics are GOOD

 **mercuti_ohno** : yeah but his songs are kinda boring ://

 **mercuti_ohno** : and pretentious

 **the.ben** : pretentious?? And 100 gecs isn’t??

 **the.ben** : you guys just like to think that ur better than everyone

 **mercuti_ohno** : SO DO YOU

 **capital_of_france:** i like hozier?

 **the.ben** : THANK you

 **julieee** : you guys are so stupid honestly

 **julieee** : but i must admit 100 gecs goes hard at 3am

 **mercuti_ohno** : ah a woman with taste

 **mercuti_ohno** : who’s your favorite

 **julieee** : hmm idk there’s a few

 **julieee** : i do like taylor swift

 **bromeo** : nooo julie you have to listen to some good music with me

 **julieee** : ...kanye?

 **bromeo** : yeah!!

 **julieee** : no ty 

**mercuti_ohno** : taylor swift though? really?

 **julieee** : idk i like the vibes

 **julieee** : especially her old music

 **the.ben** : the old music was kinda nice and nostalgic but i hate her new stuff

 **julieee** : i also like my chemical romance

 **julieee** : and most heavy metal

 **mercuti_ohno** : huh

 **the.ben** : oh to be back in my middle school emo phase 😔

 **mercuti_ohno** : lmao no i remember you in that phase

 **mercuti_ohno** : you were so annoying

 **the.ben** : maybe so

 **bromeo** : i still think that juliet would like my music better

 **mercuti_ohno** : juliet, do you like kanye better than your spectacular combination of 2000s pop and the music ben would listen to in middle school to feed his individuality complex?

 **julieee** : romeo ily

 **bromeo** : ily too babe 💖

 **julieee** : but no my music is way better

 **bromeo** : aw babe 💔

 **the.ben** : so we have kanye, taylor swift/mcr/heavy metal, hozier, and 100 gecs

 **julieee** : paris?

 **capital_of_france** : idek

 **capital_of_france** : i a) don’t have strong opinions and b) am afraid that someone will lobotomize me for those opinions

 **the.ben** : if we can forgive mercutio for unironically liking 100 gecs than we probably won’t murder you

 **capital_of_france** : tbh idek if i have a favorite

 **capital_of_france** : i kinda like country music?

 **julieee** : blocked

 **the.ben** : ^^

 **capital_of_france** : damn ok

 **bromeo** : this is a country music hate zone

 **mercuti_ohno** : fuck country music all my homies hate country music

\---

\--direct message: **the.ben** to **mercuti_ohno**

 **the.ben** : wanna come over so i can help you with physics after school? we can listen to music

 **the.ben** : we gotta get you into something that doesn’t sound like a drug trip

 **mercuti_ohno** : yeah sure

 **mercuti_ohno** : we gotta get you into something that doesn’t sound like sleeping

 **mercuti_ohno** : what time?

 **the.ben** : whenever you have time

 **the.ben** : just text me when you’re on your way so i can convince my mom to go visit my aunt

 **mercuti_ohno** : oh why

 **mercuti_ohno** : i love your mom

 **the.ben** : yeah but she’s gonna be hanging around the whole time trying to offer you snacks and lightly harassing me

 **the.ben** : it’s easier to focus if her and my aunt are distracted comparing me and romeo

 **mercuti_ohno** : ok

 **mercuti_ohno** : should i just bring my hw

 **the.ben** : yeah i have a different period so

 **the.ben** : you needed help right?

 **mercuti_ohno** : yeah dude ur a lifesaver

 **mercuti_ohno** : i don’t know shit about science

 **the.ben** : no one does i just read a lot of wikipedia

 **mercuti_ohno** : ok lmao

 **mercuti_ohno** : i’m bringing my gec playlist though and u can’t stop me

 **the.ben** : not nice chill study music?

 **mercuti_ohno** : absolutely not

 **mercuti_ohno** : pls listen to gecgecgec, a playlist by nghhh on spotify

 **the.ben** : for you i will

 **mercuti_ohno** : ❤️

 **mercuti_ohno** : ur gonna listen to xXXi_wud_nvrstøp_ÜXXx!!

 **mercuti_ohno** : i had to copy and paste that

 **the.ben** : ur a fucking idiot

 **the.ben** : but yes i will listen to xx__alien!! 23u3u :)hhd h44ks

 **mercuti_ohno** : isn’t that elon musk’s kids name

 **the.ben** : ajakdkdjdjdhdfd probably

 **the.ben** : my mom made cookies

 **mercuti_ohno** : yess what kind

 **the.ben** : chocolate chips

 **mercuti_ohno** : YES

 **mercuti_ohno** : i’ll text you when i get there

 **mercuti_ohno** : but now i’m not going for you or physics, i’m going for cookies

 **the.ben** : 💔

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my friends all hate me a little for me making them listen to 100 gecs. quarantine's drastically messed up my music taste. i wrote this at 3 am. enjoy!!


	7. will you marry me

\--direct message: **mercuti_ohno** to **the.ben**

 **mercuti_ohno** : i just left physics i think i actually did well?

 **the.ben** : YESSSSS

 **the.ben** : WHOOOOOOOO

 **the.ben** : DID MERCUTIO FINALLY GET AN A ON A PHYSICS TEST?

 **mercuti_ohno** : NONONO BEN LOWER YOUR EXPECTATIONS

 **the.ben** : IM SO PROUD OF U 😭

 **mercuti_ohno** : BENNYYYY

 **the.ben** : U KNOW PHYSICS!!!!

 **mercuti_ohno** : stupid milone gave MORE hw today after the test

 **mercuti_ohno** : i hate her so fucking much

 **the.ben** : bruhhh i forgot about that

 **the.ben** : if she doesn’t get 170 grades in per marking period i think she’d actually drop dead

 **mercuti_ohno** : help me with it?

 **the.ben** : ofc

 **the.ben** : come over whenever

\---

\--ap lit gang

 **julieee:** ap world test tomorrow 😬

 **julieee** : boys how we feeling

 **capital_of_france** : scared

 **capital_of_france** : imagine understanding the sixteenth century couldn’t be me

 **julieee** : you guys wanna study again tonight?

 **the.ben** : sorry i can’t again

 **the.ben** : me and mercutio are doing physics

 **capital_of_france** : oh ok

 **julieee** : paris, library?

 **capital_of_france** : works for me

 **bromeo** : the library always smells like wet socks

 **capital_of_france** : actually yeah it does

\---

\--direct message: **mercuti_ohno** to **the.ben**

 **mercuti_ohno** : wait you have a test tomorrow

 **mercuti_ohno** : why didn’t you say anything

 **the.ben** : i’m well prepared its fine

 **mercuti_ohno** : i just have hw you have an actual test?

 **the.ben** : dude its fine

 **the.ben** : i would much rather make fun of our friends with you than have to actually interact with them

 **mercuti_ohno** : damn benny thats cold

 **the.ben** : what can i say i’m mean

 **mercuti_ohno** : you don’t have to tell me

\---

\--direct message: **bromeo** to **julieee**

 **bromeo** : hey baby

 **julieee** : hi!! 💞

 **julieee** : what’s up

 **bromeo** : i’ve just been thinking

 **bromeo** : idk just where do you think you see our relationship going?

 **julieee** : idk

 **julieee** : hopefully going on for a while?

 **bromeo** : what do you think about us getting married

 **julieee** : omg babe!!!

 **julieee** : i mean i’m 16 but ily

 **julieee** : someday i’d really love to marry you 😘

 **bromeo** : ❤️❤️❤️

 **bromeo** : i can’t wait

 **julieee** : me too

 **julieee** : ilysm

 **bromeo** : ily more

 **bromeo** : lets just agree to get married

 **julieee** : i can’t believe i’m saying this but yes!

 **julieee** : there’s no one i’d rather spend my life with

 **bromeo** : babe we’re engaged!

 **julieee** : i guess so 😊

\---

\--ap lit gang

 **bromeo** : guys guess what

 **julieee** : we’re engaged!!! 🎉

 **mercuti_ohno** : what the fuck

 **mercuti_ohno** : no

 **mercuti_ohno** : this is where i draw the fucking line

 **mercuti_ohno** : y’all haven’t even been dating a week

 **mercuti_ohno** : ur actual teenagers

 **mercuti_ohno** : nope

 **mercuti_ohno** has left the chat.

 **the.ben** : jesus fucking christ

 **the.ben** : today is thursday

 **the.ben** : your first date was friday

 **the.ben** : you’re 16 and 17

 **the.ben** has added **mercuti_ohno**

 **the.ben** : i’m not witnessing this alone

 **the.ben** : ur stuck here

 **mercuti_ohno** : guys pls say sike

 **bromeo** : well i really thought you guys would be more supportive

 **mercuti_ohno** : WHY

 **mercuti_ohno** : WHAT HAVE I DONE OR SAID TO GIVE YOU THAT IMPRESSION

 **julieee** : i thought you guys would be happy for us

 **the.ben** : juliet i love you

 **the.ben** : but you know why this is ridiculous right?

 **bromeo** : we’re in love

 **capital_of_france** : not to judge but ur also juniors in high school

 **mercuti_ohno** : exactly

 **the.ben** : we’ll be plenty supportive once you’ve known each other for more than the amount of time i spent pretending to learn latin on duolingo

 **bromeo** : well fine then

 **bromeo** : just know that you’re bad friends

 **mercuti_ohno** : lmao ok

\---

\--direct message: **the.ben** to **mercuti_ohno**

 **the.ben** : i think i made the right choice picking physics over juliet glaring at me for two hours in a musty library

 **mercuti_ohno** : definitely

 **mercutio_ohno:** btw i don’t feel bad in the slightest

 **the.ben** : oh me neither

 **the.ben** : they’re fucking idiots

 **mercuti_ohno** : ikr

 **the.ben** : so us and paris are the only ones with rights

 **mercuti_ohno** : nahh paris is too nice

 **mercuti_ohno** : complete assholes only

 **the.ben** : ahh we reign supreme again

 **mercuti_ohno** : it feels good to know we’re better than everyone else

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think for right now i've got the plot like half planned? i know roughly what's gonna happen but absolutely no details or actual plot points.
> 
> this is insanely fun to write, though. like just having shakespearean characters yell at each other? i love it.
> 
> ty for reading!


	8. totally off base

\--direct message: **the.ben** to **mercuti_ohno**

 **the.ben** : i’m afraid that juliet’s mad at me ://

 **mercuti_ohno** : not romeo?

 **the.ben** : no he’s my cousin he’s always mad at me

 **mercuti_ohno** : have you tried talking to her

 **the.ben** : well no

 **mercuti_ohno** : bruh

 **mercuti_ohno** : text her

 **the.ben** : ughhhhhh fine

\---

\--direct message: **the.ben** to **julieee**

 **the.ben** : julie i’m sorry are you mad at me

 **julieee** : no i’m not mad!!

 **julieee** : i still think you guys don’t understand our love but

 **the.ben** : ok lmao

 **the.ben** : but julie i have NEWS

 **julieee** : 😏😏😏

 **julieee** : mercutio news?

 **the.ben** : so u know how he was at my house yesterday

 **the.ben** : well my mom wasn’t home and we finished studying quicker than we thought

 **the.ben** : so we went to watch a movie on my bed

 **julieee** : on your bed you say? 😏

 **the.ben** : nothing really happened julie

 **the.ben** : but we were sitting so close and the movie got kinda scary

 **the.ben** : we held hands during the scary parts

 **julieee** : omg ben

 **the.ben** : i don’t think he likes me though

 **julieee** : ur kidding right

 **the.ben** : i mean idk that’s normal during scary movies

 **the.ben** : we did that when we were little

 **the.ben** : but still it was nice

 **julieee** : aww

\---

\--direct message: **the.ben** to **mercuti_ohno**

 **the.ben** : she’s not mad!

 **mercuti_ohno** : told you it was that easy

 **the.ben** : i mean i think she still wants us to support that trainwreck of a relationship but that’s not happening

 **mercuti_ohno** : fuck no

 **mercuti_ohno** : i hate everything about it

 **the.ben** : what time are you coming over

 **mercuti_ohno** : drive over together after school?

 **the.ben** : sure that works

 **the.ben** : wait what do you have now

 **mercuti_ohno** : lunch

 **the.ben** : oh ok i have pre calc

 **the.ben** : hiding your phone under the desk from the scariest teacher >>>

 **the.ben** : yeah we’ll drive over

 **the.ben** : another movie today?

 **mercuti_ohno** : whatever you want

 **the.ben** : pride and prejudice

 **mercuti_ohno** : u nerd

 **mercuti_ohno** : sure

\---

\--direct message: **capital_of_france** to **julieee**

 **capital_of_france** : hey julie you can tell me if i’m totally off base

 **capital_of_france** : but is something happening between ben and mercutio?

 **julieee** : OH THANK GOD SOMEONE FINALLY NOTICED

 **julieee** : there definitely is

 **julieee** : ben’s just dumb and thinks mercutio doesn’t like him back 🤷

 **capital_of_france** : you’ve got to be kidding

 **capital_of_france** : me and mercutio have lunch rn and mercutio just spent ten straight minutes talking about ben

 **capital_of_france** : he only stopped bc he texted him

 **julieee** : hahaha benvolio just texted me about him

 **julieee** : the two of them i swear

 **capital_of_france** : he’s a great guy and everything but if i have to hear about benvolio’s obsession with star wars one more time--

 **julieee** : same

 **julieee** : like yes i am way too invested in their relationship but also i hear about mercutio way too much

 **capital_of_france** : they have to just kiss so the rest of us can have our lives back

 **julieee** : facts!!

 **julieee** : but also you know once they do kiss ben’s still gonna text me like “bUt DoEs He LiKe Me?”

 **capital_of_france** : mercutio’s gonna ask me weird probing questions about what do i think about benvolio

 **julieee** : i would pay actual money for them to kiss

 **capital_of_france** : me too

 **capital_of_france** : do you think we could start a gofundme

 **julieee** : they’d probably both donate

 **capital_of_france** : HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

\---

\--ap lit gang

 **capital_of_france** : 10 minutes until the test :)

 **capital_of_france** : i’m scared :)

 **the.ben** : y’all pray for me

 **mercuti_ohno** : i am pray 🙏

 **the.ben** : ty

 **bromeo** : good luck to juliet and juliet only

 **the.ben** : lmao

 **julieee** : i’ve just read all my notes three times i still don’t remember anything

 **capital_of_france** : why were there so many fucking kings and queens

 **the.ben** : bc they all kept dying due to inbreeding and shitty water 🤪

 **julieee** : just victorian things ✌️

 **the.ben** : ok good luck guys

 **mercuti_ohno** : good luck

 **capital_of_france** : good luck!!

 **bromeo** : gl

\---

\--ap lit gang

 **the.ben** : no one ask me how it was i genuinely don’t know

 **the.ben** : that was one big haze of confusion

 **julieee** : i think i answered some of it right??

 **julieee** : i just hnrghshshh

 **the.ben** : me too juliet

 **capital_of_france** : i don’t think i failed?

 **capital_of_france** : but also i might have failed

 **capital_of_france** : i

 **mercuti_ohno** : u guys good?

 **julieee** : hnghh

 **mercuti_ohno** : romeo we need dumber friends

 **mercuti_ohno** : these guys take one test and go catatonic

 **bromeo** : yeah we can do better

 **the.ben** : i just??? my brain???

 **mercuti_ohno** : what brain

 **the.ben** : yeah

 **the.ben** : i don’t wanna drive home i’m tiredddd

 **the.ben** : romeo can u drive instead

 **bromeo** : i thought you didn’t trust my driving

 **the.ben** : i don’t

 **the.ben** : i’ll take the risk though

 **julieee** : romeo u better drop me off too

 **bromeo** : sure

 **capital_of_france** : i was gonna walk but can i also get a ride

 **bromeo** : fine

 **bromeo** : i’m driving everyone home

 **mercuti_ohno** : hey i’m driving myself home

 **the.ben** : u don’t have a license

 **mercuti_ohno** : and what about it

 **the.ben** : 👌

 **the.ben** : drive over to my place

 **mercuti_ohno** : sure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two in one night! these are just way too fun lmao
> 
> i'm totally taking ideas btw! i do all of these at 2am and i'm usually too tired for creativity


	9. sleepover

\--ap lit gang

**mercuti_ohno** : ok google what do you do when your friend falls asleep at his own house and you don’t know if you’re allowed to take his food

**bromeo** : eat it

**mercuti_ohno** : don’t need to tell me twice

\---

\--direct message: **capital_of_france** to **julieee**

**capital_of_france** : it’s 10 am?? has he been there all night

**julieee** : oh god he probably has

**julieee** : i’m surprised ben hasn’t texted me

**capital_of_france** : pining assholes

**julieee** : ikr

\---

\--direct message: **bromeo** to **t.cap**

**bromeo** : tybalt!!

**bromeo:** hi!!

**t.cap** : what do you want

**bromeo** : hey dude has juliet said anything recently

**t.cap** : about what

**bromeo** : me

**bromeo** : or paris?? they’ve been hanging out a lot lately

**t.cap** : who tf is paris

**bromeo** : he’s friends with us

**t.cap** : the only junior i know is juliet

**t.cap** : and you apparently

**bromeo** : oh ok

**bromeo** : lmk if u every hear anything bro

\---

\--direct message: **t.cap** to **julieee**

**t.cap** : juliet

**t.cap** : i am begging you to get your bf to leave me alone

**julieee** : oh what happened

**t.cap** : he keeps texting me asking about you its fucking annoying

**t.cap** : him and his friends are very loud and walk very slow

**t.cap** : so contrary to popular belief i am not interested in being friends with romeo montague

**julieee** : cmon he’s sweet

**t.cap** : 😐

**t.cap** : he keeps asking me about you and some guy paris

**t.cap** : who the fuck is paris

**julieee** : oh he’s our friend

**t.cap** : that was rhetorical

**t.cap** : juliet i could not possibly care less about junior social dynamics

**julieee** : damn ok suit yourself

\---

\--ap lit gang

**julieee** : ben

**julieee** : ben

**julieee** : ben

**julieee** : is ben dead

**the.ben** : i look pretty good for a dead bitch

**mercuti_ohno** : SHE’S ALIVE!!!!!

**bromeo** : bro where were you

**the.ben** : asleep

**julieee** : until noon? bruhhh 😒😒😒

**the.ben** : it’s a saturday leave me alone

**the.ben** : plus i was up late

**capital_of_france** : oh doing what

**the.ben** : just studying and stuff

**bromeo** : on a friday?

**bromeo** : someday i hope to be as hardworking as my most obnoxious cousin ✌️

**the.ben** : u never will be u lazy ass

**bromeo** : damn ok

**julieee** : i wanna see a movie

**capital_of_france** : which one

**julieee** : deadass don’t care

**julieee** : whatever’s in theaters i just want to eat buttery popcorn in a dark room

**julieee** : anyone wanna come?

**capital_of_france** : i’m down to sit in a dark room with overpriced candy

**bromeo** : i’ll come too then

**julieee** : yessss we go 🤩

**the.ben** : i’m gonna go to sleep instead lmao

**mercuti_ohno** : and i’m gonna go on a snack run bc ben’s lazy and hungry all the time

**julieee** : ur staying another night?

**the.ben** : my mom’s on a business trip so we thought it would be fun

**the.ben** : you guys can come too if you want???

**mercuti_ohno** : it’s probably be boring tho we’re not really doing anything

**julieee** : ok romeo and paris when should i pick you guys up

**julieee** : should i leave now?

**capital_of_france** : works for me!!

**bromeo** : me too

**julieee** : awesome i’m heading out now

\---

\--direct message: **julieee** to **capital_of_france**

**julieee** : i’m heading to your place first but omg

**capital_of_france** : THEY’RE SPENDING THE WHOLE WEEKEND TOGETHER

**julieee** : IKR

**julieee** : something has to be happening

**capital_of_france** : what was ben up all night doing?

**julieee** : right???

**julieee** : i don’t think we have any tests or quizzes all next week??

**capital _of_france** : !!!

**capital_of_france** : something is UP

**julieee** : wait i’m almost there

**julieee** : not a word to romeo

**capital_of_france** : ofc

\---

\--direct message: **julieee** to **bromeo**

**julieee** : almost there!! ❤️

**bromeo** : awesome 💕 ly

**julieee** : ily too 💕

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm planning plot lines! i can't believe it!
> 
> ty for reading!!!


	10. romeo i am literally begging you to stop

\--ap lit gang

 **bromeo** : guyss another frat party!!

 **bromeo** : it’s in like an hour

 **mercuti_ohno** : idk dude

 **mercuti_ohno** : it didn’t go so well last time

 **the.ben** : also idk if i want to leave the house ://

 **the.ben** : lazy. no people.

 **julieee** : what about mercutio

 **the.ben** : doesn’t count 🙂

 **bromeo** : PLEASE can we go

 **bromeo** : i promise it’ll be fun

 **julieee** : if you really want to i’ll go with you 💞

 **capital_of_france:** if everyone else is going i’ll go

 **mercuti_ohno** : me and ben will go too

 **julieee** : i’ll pick you guys up!! ❤️

\---

\--ap lit gang

 **bromeo** : where ar u gyusssss

 **bromeo** : i’m wit ths realllly y coll guy

 **bromeo** : his naem is bradd

 **the.ben** : haha ur drunkkkkk

 **julieee** : romeo where are you

 **julieee** : i can try to come find you

 **julieee** : where are the rest of u guys

 **capital_of_france** : i’m pretty sure ben and mercutio are together somewhere

 **capital_of_france** : and i think they’re drunk

 **julieee** : fuck

\---

\--direct message: **julieee** to **capital_of_france**

 **julieee** : paris

 **julieee** : i was trying to find romeo and instead i saw benvolio and mercutio making out

 **julieee** : like full on

 **capital_of_france** : !!!!

 **capital_of_france** : holy shit

 **julieee** : what??? do i do???

 **julieee** : mercutio’s kinda falling into ben rn

 **julieee** : he is REALLY drunk

 **julieee** : ok so mercutio has deadass collapsed but they’re still making out

 **capital_of_france** : awww????

 **julieee** : these emotionally constipated idiots could have been doing this months ago

 **capital_of_france** : is this what they were doing all weekend?

 **julieee** : maybe??

 **julieee** : i don’t want to interrupt them so i’m gonna keep looking for romeo

 **julieee** : if you want to come look for them though they’re on the second floor all the way to the left of the stairs

 **capital_of_france** : ok i'll go look

\---

\--ap lit gang

 **bromeo** : bruhhh brad sa ays they got more beeeeer rrr in the base metn

 **bromeo** : the muisc is so goodddd

 **julieee** : romeo

 **julieee** : babe where are you

 **bromeo** : idk but is littttt

 **julieee** : babe

 **julieee** : are you on the first floor or the second floor

 **bromeo** : theres treeeeeessss

 **bromeo** : they hav e so many leeeevess

 **julieee** : are the leaves above you or below you

 **bromeo** : they’re very tal

 **julieee** : ok, first floor

 **julieee** : do you know where the stairs are

 **bromeo** : nope

 **julieee** : fuck

 **julieee** : just don’t move

 **bromeo** : y were u with paras this hole time

 **bromeo** : u shuld be with meeee

 **bromeo** : i’m ur bf not him

 **julieee** : bc the second we stepped through the doors you left to go get drunk with some frat boy

 **bromeo** : u should be hear with meee

 **julieee** : i’m not interested in getting drunk romeo

 **julieee** : and paris is the only one helping me with your drunk ass

 **bromeo** : we shuld stay here fereverr

 **bromeo** : the drnks are so good

 **julieee** : we’re going home

 **capital_of_france** : i have ben + mercutio with me

 **capital_of_france** : meet u out front?

 **julieee** : yes perfect

 **julieee** : sit with them on the lawn or something and make sure they don’t drink anything

 **julieee** : i’m grabbing romeo

\---

\--ap lit gang

 **julieee** : got him

 **capital_of_france** : i see u

\---

\--direct message: **julieee** to **the.ben**

 **julieee** : good morning!

 **julieee** : do you want to talk about it

 **the.ben** : nope

 **the.ben** : we were just drunk

 **julieee** : okk 🙃

 **julieee** : did he say anything

 **the.ben** : nope

 **the.ben** : can i copy your homework i’m hungover

 **julieee** sent img_489

 **julieee** sent img_490

 **the.ben** : ty ur an angel

 **julieee** : np 💗

\---

\--direct message: **mercuti_ohno** to **the.ben**

 **mercuti_ohno** : i’m so hungover

 **the.ben** : me too

 **the.ben** : my head hurts so muchhh

 **mercuti_ohno** : wanna go eat something if ur up for it

 **the.ben** : sure

 **the.ben** : text me when ur ready

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey!! there was a tropical storm and possible a tornado where i live, so i lost wifi for a few days and couldn't write. i got it back today though and i was so glad to get back into it!
> 
> also i have never gotten drunk and idk how drunk people text or what a hangover is like so uhmmm bear with me please? i'm gonna try to avoid writing this stuff because i feel like it comes across pretty awkward haha
> 
> tysm for reading!!!


	11. good decision?

\--direct message: **julieee** to **bromeo**

 **julieee** : babe i want to talk about last night

 **bromeo** : wdym

 **julieee** : when you were drunk?? and you got mad at me about not being around you at the party

 **julieee** : and you were saying something about paris?

 **bromeo** : i just think it’s weird how much time you’re spending with him

 **julieee** : why

 **julieee** : we’re friends? That’s what friends do?

 **bromeo** : i don’t believe you’re just friends.

 **julieee** : what? why wouldn’t you

 **julieee** : plus we’ve never hung out without you being invited?

 **julieee** : and we both went to that stupid fucking frat party bc YOU wanted to

 **bromeo** : oh, you’re going to blame this on me?

 **bromeo** : when you’re clearly cheating on me?

 **julieee** : with PARIS?

 **julieee** : you’ve got to be fucking kidding me

 **bromeo** : it’s clear you at least like him and i’m not fucking ok with it

 **julieee** : fuck that

 **julieee** : i WISH i were dating paris instead

 **julieee** : at least he trusts and respects me

 **bromeo** : you mean that? when have i not been respectful to you

 **julieee** : when you assumed i had to be dating my male friend

 **julieee** : after i spent an hour driving you back and forth to a fucking frat party then another hour tracking you down and making sure you weren’t passed out somewhere choking on your own vomit

 **julieee** : i want to break up

 **bromeo** : babe you have to be kidding

 **bromeo** : it’s normal for me to be protective of my girlfriend

 **bromeo** : julie

 **bromeo** : juliet

 **bromeo** : i’m sorry

 **bromeo** : juliet

\---

\--saturdays are for the boys

 **bromeo** : juliet broke up with me

 **the.ben** : i’m sorry

 **the.ben:** what happened

 **bromeo** : i thought she was into paris

 **bromeo** : possibly cheating

 **bromeo** : and then she got really mad?

 **mercuti_ohno** : bro i’m really sorry but i get why she’d be mad

 **mercuti_ohno** : like she wasn’t cheating

 **bromeo** : but she broke up with me just bc i didn’t believe her???

 **the.ben** : i mean,, yeah

 **the.ben** : why didn’t you believe her

 **the.ben** : i mean wasn’t it kinda obvious they were just friends?

 **bromeo** : no it wasn’t!!! they were hanging out so much

 **the.ben** : yeah, like having friends?

 **bromeo** : i didn’t fucking do anything wrong

 **mercuti_ohno** : dude i’m really sorry

 **mercuti_ohno** : but she’d probably forgive you if you explained that you were just being jealous and you get why she’s mad?

 **bromeo** : i wasn’t being jealous

 **bromeo** : i bet she is dating him anyway

\---

\--direct message: **the.ben** to **julieee**

 **the.ben** : hey julie i heard what happened

 **the.ben** : are you okay

 **julieee** : i’m ok ❤️

 **julieee** : shouldn’t you be supporting romeo though?

 **the.ben** : don’t tell him but he clearly messed up

 **the.ben** : mercutio told him to just tell you he was being jealous and he’s sorry

 **the.ben** : he still says it isn’t his fault

 **julieee** : basically what he said to me

 **julieee** : platonic male friends? haven’t heard of them

 **the.ben** : so are you gonna date paris?

 **the.ben** : piss of romeo?

 **julieee** : nahh

 **julieee** : he really is just my friend

 **the.ben** : lmk if u need anything

 **the.ben** : i’ll work on romeo

 **julieee** : shoving respect women juice down his throat?

 **the.ben** : exactly!!

\---

\--saturdays are for the boys

 **bromeo** : i wish she didn’t break up with me

 **the.ben** : i’m sorry i get that

 **the.ben** : but dude seriously you should just own up to julie that you messed up

 **bromeo** : i didn’t tho!!

\---

 **julieee** has created a new chat

 **julieee** has added **mercuti_ohno**

 **julieee** has added **the.ben**

 **julieee** has added **capital_of_france**

 **julieee** has named the chat **i don’t want to talk to my ex 🙃**

 **the.ben** : lmao ok

 **the.ben** : hi guys!!

 **julieee** : hii 💕

 **mercuti_ohno** : back to school in 12 hours :) i hate it here :)

 **capital_of_france** : oh god don’t remind me

 **mercuti_ohno** : can i please drop out

 **the.ben** : no

 **the.ben** : absolutely not

 **the.ben** : i am not suffering through the rest of senior year alone

 **julieee** : oh what are we then

 **the.ben** : acquaintances

 **capital_of_france** : oh screw you

 **mercuti_ohno** : i hate high school so much it’s unreal

 **the.ben** : same

 **julieee** : preach

 **capital_of_france** : aren’t u guys probably gonna go to an ivy or something

 **julieee** : that’s what made me hate high school 😃

 **the.ben** : ap classes permanently messed me up 🧚✨💕

 **mercuti_ohno** : we can all drop out together!

 **julieee** : AFTER the sats

 **julieee** : gotta get a 1500 first

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is actually pretty early for me! And no promises, but i might even write another chapter tonight. SO if you have suggestions you might want to get them in in the next hour lmao
> 
> I have to eat my toast first, though. Tysm for reading!!


	12. rosaline

\--saturdays are for the boys

 **bromeo** : so guys

 **bromeo** : u know rosaline?

 **the.ben** : yeah i have ap world with her

 **bromeo** : we’re dating

 **mercuti_ohno** : bruh WHAT

 **mercuti_ohno** : dude i love you but what the fuck it with you

 **the.ben** : ^^^

 **the.ben** : you’ve been broken up with julie for like?? A day??

 **bromeo** : yeah i miss her ://

 **bromeo** : but rosaline’s pretty hot soo

 **bromeo** : can we add her to the ap lit chat

 **mercuti_ohno** : doesn’t she have comp

 **bromeo** : pleaseee

 **the.ben** : talk to julie first

 **bromeo** : 😐

 **the.ben** : u have to

\---

\--direct message: **bromeo** to **julieee**

 **bromeo** : hi juliet

 **julieee** : hi 💞

 **bromeo** : i just wanted to see how you were doing

 **bromeo** : and i hope we can still be friends

 **bromeo** : also i’m dating rosaline and i wanted to know if you’d be okay with me adding her to the ap lit chat

 **julieee** : ok give me a second

 **julieee:** ok so first of all i’m doing good and of course we can still be friends 😊

 **julieee** : i find it a little weird that you’re already dating her already but u do u

 **julieee** : and i’m fine with u adding her but then u have to change the name

 **bromeo** : oh awesome tysm

\---

\--- ap lit gang

 **bromeo** has added **rosebud 🌹** to the chat

 **bromeo** has renamed the chat **peepeepoopoo**

 **the.ben** : romeo you are an actual child

 **the.ben** : hi rosaline!!

 **rosebud 🌹** : hey guys!!

 **julieee** : hi 💕 how are you

 **capital_of_france** : whats up

 **capital_of_france** : love the new name romeo

 **bromeo** : thx i picked it myself

 **rosebud 🌹** : what did u guys get on the ap world test

 **julieee** : 90 by some miracle lmao

 **julieee** : praying to literally every deity i could think of five mins before the test must have worked

 **the.ben** : 82 and ngl i’ll take it

 **the.ben** : it was so hard i have no complaints

 **the.ben** : praying unfortunately did not work for me

 **mercuti_ohno** : it’s probably the homosexuality 😼

 **the.ben** : yeah god hates me

 **the.ben** : you’d think some of the greek gods would vibe with me tho :/

 **capital_of_france** : 84

 **julieee** : oh not so bad

 **the.ben** : what about u rosaline

 **rosebud 🌹** : romeo do u want to hang out later

 **bromeo** : oh yeah for sure 💖

 **rosebud 🌹** : pizza?

 **bromeo** : yeah totally

 **julieee** : oh yeah rosaline i’m just curious

 **rosebud 🌹** : 79

 **julieee** : that’s pretty good the test was so hard

 **julieee** : literally half the class failed

 **rosebud 🌹** : guysss we should totally go to a party tonight

 **mercuti_ohno** : celebrate y’all not failing!!

 **mercuti_ohno** : i heard how these guys talked about the test lmao

 **the.ben** : yeah but also no more parties pls

 **the.ben** : not that it wasn’t fun last time lmao

 **the.ben** : i just feel bad for poor julie

 **julieee** : yeah no pls

 **julieee** : no one told me that being the designated driver also meant being the designated parent

 **rosebud 🌹** : i mean it’s kinda implied

 **julieee** : no i know lol

 **julieee** : i’d just rather not have to deal with it lol

 **rosebud 🌹** : it’s just being a good friend

 **rosebud 🌹** : you don’t HAVE to be designated driver

 **julieee** : i kinda do

 **julieee** : mercutio got his license revoked, paris is too nervous to drive, and ben doesn’t trust romeo

 **capital_of_france** : guilty 😅

 **mercuti_ohno** : i’m not!!! let’s ride babey

 **rosebud 🌹** : why don’t u trust romeo

 **rosebud 🌹** : he didn’t do anything wrong

 **julieee** : no haha ben just always says that

 **the.ben** : and i stand by it 😼

 **rosebud 🌹** : make benvolio drive then

 **julieee** : i’m not gonna force him?

 **julieee** : guys just go to the party if you want 

**julieee** : whatever

 **the.ben** : i’d rather not either

 **mercuti_ohno** : me neither

 **mercuti_ohno** : movie night??

 **julieee** : yess so down

 **capital_of_france** : me too??

 **the.ben** : yes!!!

 **the.ben** : romeo and rosaline do u guys wanna come to

 **rosebud 🌹** : thx for inviting me

 **rosebud 🌹** : i’d rather go to a party though lol

 **bromeo** : i’ll go with you!!

 **mercuti_ohno** : romeo don’t get too drunk ;)

 **bromeo** : i’ll pick you up!! ❤️

 **the.ben** : ok movie ppl who’s house

 **the.ben** : my parents came home btw

 **julieee** : my mom loves guests so u guys can come over?

 **mercuti_ohno** : awesome

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi!
> 
> i haven't been able to write for the past few days because my own group chat actually fell apart a little bit? drama in the friend group haha
> 
> so basically i WILL be projecting all that onto this fic and you will see my friend group's drama play out a little. what's writing a Shakespearean high school au for if not shamelessly projecting your own life onto it?
> 
> thank you so much for reading and all your comments! they really make my day <3


	13. elite cousins

\--direct message: **bromeo** to **t.cap**

 **bromeo** : hi tybalt!!

 **bromeo** : you’re taking econ this year right

 **bromeo** : can you tell me hard it is

 **t.cap** : bruh what

 **bromeo** : i’m thinking of taking it next year 😺

 **t.cap** : didn’t my cousin just break up with you

 **bromeo** : yeah but no hard feelings

 **bromeo** : do you get a lot of hw

 **t.cap** : not rlly that much

 **bromeo** : tysm!! 😊

\---

 **t.cap** has created a new chat

 **t.cap** has added **julieee**

 **t.cap** has added **rosebud 🌹**

 **t.cap** has named the chat **elite cousins**

 **t.cap** : i am begging u guys to stop dating romeo

 **t.cap** : every time one of u does he thinks we’re friends

 **t.cap** : we are not friends

 **t.cap** : i cannot stand him

 **rosebud 🌹** : it’s not my fault juliet already dated him

 **julieee** : what??

 **julieee** : it’s not my fault he’s dating u either??

 **rosebud 🌹** : yeah well its clear ur not even over him 😂

 **julieee** : girl??

 **julieee** : i broke up with him

 **t.cap** : hey ladies

 **t.cap** : i don’t care

 **t.cap** : i just want him to leave me tf alone

\---

\--direct message: **rosebud 🌹** to **t.cap**

 **rosebud 🌹** : isn’t juliet so annoying

 **rosebud 🌹** : i can’t believe he even dated her

 **t.cap** : if u have a problem go talk with julie

 **t.cap** : i cannot express how little i care

 **rosebud 🌹** : yeah but she acts so entitled

 **t.cap** : ok for the record it was a little weird of you to start dating him immediately after they broke up

 **t.cap** : idk what u think julie did wrong

 **rosebud 🌹** : i can’t believe ur taking her side

 **t.cap** : what? what side

 **t.cap** : i do not care about this fucked up love triangle

 **t.cap** : go sort it out with julie

\---

\--peepeepoopoo

 **mercuti_ohno** : romeo and rosaline what time is ur party just curious

 **mercuti_ohno** : also who’s throwing a party on a monday

 **rosebud 🌹** : idk but some of my friends told me about it

 **rosebud 🌹** : who cares what day lmao

 **julieee** : doesn’t he have a test tomorrow

 **rosebud 🌹** : who are u to care

 **the.ben** : his friend??

 **the.ben** : also he does definitely have a test tomorrow

 **bromeo** : fuck i forgot about that

 **bromeo** : it’ll be fine lol

 **the.ben** : try not to get too drunk lmao

 **the.ben** : and if u need to recover julie can he come over

 **julieee** : sure!! 😇

 **julieee** : all of u can stay over btw

 **the.ben** : can we study for the lit quiz after the movie

 **the.ben** : i need help lmao

 **mercuti_ohno** : SAME

 **capital_of_france:** i can bring cupcakes!!

 **bromeo** : as unappealing as studying is it’s good i have a place to crash lmao

 **rosebud 🌹** : or just stay with me??

 **bromeo** : sure 💕

 **the.ben** : oh ofc

 **the.ben** : if ur with me i can cover for you to auntie tho

 **bromeo** : it’ll all depend on how drunk i get 😼

 **julieee** : ok guys be at my house by 9?

 **capital_of_france** : sure that gives me an hour for baking

 **mercuti_ohno** : lmao awesome

 **mercuti_ohno** : ben’s at my house now so i can drive us over

 **the.ben** : absolutely not

 **the.ben** : i’m not getting in a crash with you

 **the.ben** : that’s where i draw the line

 **the.ben** : i will be driving

 **mercuti_ohno** : and ur crash will be better?

 **the.ben** : yes ❤️

 **the.ben** : ours will be a tragic news event that will memorialize us as romantic tragedies forever

 **mercuti_ohno** : romantic tragedies?

 **mercuti_ohno** : i’m down 😼

 **the.ben** : good 😼

\---

\--i don’t want to talk to my ex 🙃

 **julieee** : btw i have a guest bed and a couch if u guys do decide to stay over

 **capital_of_france** : i can take the couch?

 **julieee** : ok

 **julieee** : ben and mercutio are u two good sharing the bed

 **the.ben** : i am if mercutio is?

 **mercuti_ohno** : i am

 **julieee** : awesome

 **julieee** : i’ll start the popcorn

 **julieee** : btw movie options are iron man, princess bride, and corpse bride

 **capital_of_france** : julie planning a wedding?

 **julieee** : maybe so 😼

 **mercuti_ohno** : who are you marrying

 **julieee** : harry styles

 **julieee** : yes i’m a minor no i don’t care

 **the.ben** : i vote princess bride

 **julieee** : don’t text and drive

 **mercuti_ohno** : its ok he’s getting gas

 **mercuti_ohno** : and i vote iron man

 **capital_of_france** : also princess bride

 **julieee** : princess bride it is!

 **julieee** : my name is inigo montoya you killed my father prepare to die amirite

 **the.ben** : yeah u are

 **the.ben** : we’ll be there in 5 btw

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no, i'm not done shamelessly projecting my own group chat'sdrama onto this. yes, some of these conversation's are pulled almost straight from real life.
> 
> on a more fun note, i'm seeing my friends for one of their birthday's tomorrow and i made rainbow cupcakes! i'm really proud of how they turned out. and ofc we're social distancing!! 
> 
> i'm also getting more busy with sat prep and hw so i may keep uploading a little slower, just to let everyone know.
> 
> tysm for reading! <3


	14. busy

\--i don’t want to talk to my ex 🙃

 **julieee** : ok me and paris are at the store what do u guys want

 **julieee** : chips??

 **capital_of_france** : ayo ben and mercutio

 **capital_of_france** : pick some snacks

 **julieee** : guys??

 **capital_of_france** : if u guys don’t answer we’ve decided that we’re getting lays

 **mercuti_ohno:** 😳 i’m here

 **mercuti_ohno** : what flavor

 **mercuti_ohno** : this is very important

 **the.ben** : if it’s not plain or salt and vinegar then ion want it

 **julieee** : yo what took you guys so long

 **julieee** : we already bought salt and vinegar

 **capital_of_france** : also soda!

 **capital_of_france** : it’s watermelon flavored 😊

 **the.ben:** we were busy

\---

\--direct message: **julieee** to **the.ben**

 **julieee** : with what 👀

 **the.ben** : :D

 **julieee** : UMM

 **julieee** : BEN

 **julieee** : BENVOLIO TELL ME WHATS HAPPENING

 **the.ben** : sorry i’m busy

 **julieee** : AHHB sjkzKBKSG

\---

\--i don’t want to talk to my ex 🙃

 **capital_of_france** : we’re almost back

\---

\--direct message: **julieee** to **the.ben**

 **julieee** : we’re almost back tell me now now now

 **the.ben** : it’s no big deal really we just kissed

 **julieee** : UMMM?? that IS a big deal first of all

 **julieee** : second u were kissing specifically for several minutes

 **the.ben** : yeah!!

 **julieee** : ok so u told him how u feel?? 🙌🎉🎉

 **the.ben** : nah

 **julieee** : bruh

\---

\--direct message: **bromeo** to **the.ben**

 **bromeo:** im drunk

 **bromeo** : i don feel good

 **bromeo** : idk where rosaline is

 **the.ben** : ok i’ll come get you

 **the.ben** : do you have an address?

 **bromeo** : idk

 **bromeo** : rosaline drove

 **the.ben** : ok one sec i’m coming

\---

\--direct message: **the.ben** to **rosebud 🌹**

 **the.ben** : hey i’m coming to get romeo

 **the.ben** : do you have an address?

 **rosebud 🌹** : u can’t take him to juliet’s

 **the.ben** : i think i’ll have to sorry

 **the.ben** : it’s easiest for me to take care of him that way

 **the.ben** : + he won’t be in trouble

 **rosebud 🌹** : she’s gonna try to take him back

 **the.ben** : lol i guarantee she won’t

 **the.ben** : but can u tell me where he is pls?

 **rosebud 🌹** : u know where william lives?

 **rosebud 🌹** : on veron ave

 **the.ben** : oh yup

 **the.ben** : thx i’m omw

\---

\--i don’t want to talk to my ex 🙃

 **the.ben** : got him

 **the.ben** : omw back

 **the.ben** : julie rosaline mentioned u btw

 **julieee** : bruhh ofc

 **julieee** : we’ll complain when u get back i don’t want you crashing

 **mercuti_ohno** : only crash if i’m in the car for maximum tragedy

 **the.ben** : ofc

\---

\--direct message: **mercuti_ohno** to **the.ben**

 **mercuti_ohno** : if ur not driving yet

 **mercuti_ohno** : should i set up a bed for him?

 **mercuti_ohno** : julie said anywhere is fine but the couch and guest bed are taken

 **the.ben** : oh fuck yeah

 **the.ben** : i don’t want to throw him in with julie?

 **mercuti_ohno** : 😬

 **mercuti_ohno** : julie has some extra pillows and a mattress pad from the camp she goes to

 **mercuti_ohno** : i’ll try to make a bed

 **the.ben** : tysm seriously

 **the.ben** : we’ll be back in about ten mins

 **mercuti_ohno** : awesome

\---

\--direct message: **julieee** to **capital_of_france**

 **julieee** : they’re texting 😼

 **capital_of_france** : mercutio’s smile i-

 **julieee** : right???

 **julieee** : its the exact same face he makes in study hall when ben texts him 🥺

 **capital_of_france** : i’m so freaking invested in this

 **julieee** : sameeee

 **capital_of_france** : what do you think happened when we were out

 **capital_of_france** : bc they were “busy” and also definitely blushing when we came back

 **julieee** : 😼😼😼

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i did this to feel productive bc if i do any more math hw i'm gonna cry.
> 
> i have been researching butterflies a ton for a project though! so if you ever want to know about endangered new jersey butterflies i gotchu
> 
> also i promise bencutio are gonna communicate their feelings eventually haha
> 
> thanks for reading!!


	15. prague is lovely this time of year

\--i don’t want to talk to my ex 🙃

 **julieee** : just to be clear, you are dating, right?

 **the.ben** : yup!!

 **capital_of_france** : oh thank god

 **capital_of_france** : i was going insane waiting

 **mercuti_ohno** : oh i’m so glad our relationship works for your schedule

 **capital_of_france** : thanks 😼

 **julieee** : congrats you guys!! 💞

 **mercuti_ohno** : thanks!!

 **julieee** : do i even want to know what went down in the guest bedroom last night

 **julieee** : bc you were certainly pretty happy this morning 😼

 **the.ben** : no u don’t! 😊 anyway,

 **capital_of_france** : UM

 **the.ben** : moving on,

 **julieee** : gladly

 **julieee** : who did the homework

\---

\--peepeepoopoo

 **bromeo** : i’m so hungover

 **the.ben** : oh noooo

 **the.ben** : whoever would’ve guessedddd

 **bromeo** : fuck u

 **the.ben** : ☹️ that’s not very nice

 **rosebud 🌹** : guys don’t blame him omg

 **rosebud 🌹** : it’s not his fault

 **mercuti_ohno** : it kinda is lmao

 **julieee** : he could’ve simply ~not drank~

 **rosebud 🌹** : omg what are you all ganging up on me for

 **mercuti_ohno** : umm

 **mercuti_ohno** : anyway

 **mercuti_ohno** : i have an essay and i don’t like it i’m dropping out

 **mercuti_ohno** : who’s with me

 **the.ben** : me ofc babe <3

 **mercuti_ohno** : stop being gross babe <3

 **the.ben** : no babe <3

 **julieee** : i’m ready to drop out

 **julieee** : i heard prague is lovely this time of year

 **mercuti_ohno** : omg lets go

 **the.ben** : we need money

 **the.ben** : i’ll work at starbucks for the health insurance

 **julieee** : i can become a hairdresser

 **julieee** : i once cut my own hair at 1 am while sobbing and it didn’t even look bad

 **julieee** : also my barbies all have excellent haircuts 🥰

 **mercuti_ohno** : perfect

 **mercuti_ohno** : i’ll leach off your wages

 **bromeo** : i can get a boring office job and embezzle funds

 **bromeo** : for legal reasons that’s a joke

 **julieee** : we’re all set!

 **rosebud 🌹** : ur all so immature

 **julieee** : damn rose that means so much to me

 **julieee** : what a useful contribution

 **bromeo** : uhh let’s not do this rn

 **rosebud 🌹** : omg ur taking her side again

 **bromeo** : what the fuck

 **bromeo** : i didn’t fucking say anything

 **rosebud 🌹** : we’re over romeo

 **bromeo** : GOOD

 **rosebud 🌹** **has left the chat**

 **the.ben** : can i say good riddance

 **julieee** : seconded

 **julieee** : definitely seconded

 **bromeo** : excellent

 **bromeo** : wanna hang out later

 **the.ben** : me and mercutio can’t

 **mercuti_ohno** : we have a date 😼

 **bromeo** : LMAO

 **bromeo** : julie and paris?

 **capital_of_france** : sure

 **julieee** : where do you wanna go

 **julieee** : movie?

 **bromeo** : sure

 **capital_of_france** : popcorn on me in honor of the breakup

 **bromeo** : awww bro

\---

 **bromeo** : ben and mercutio you have to go see cats

 **bromeo** : it wasn’t good or anything you just have to see it

 **bromeo** : guys??

 **julieee** : probably still on that date

 **julieee** : and please for the love of god do not go see cats

 **capital_of_france** : it was scarring

 **julieee** : rebel wilson unzipped her skin not once but twice

 **capital_of_france** : i spent the entire movie trying not to cry

 **bromeo** : bruh they’re just ignoring us

 **julieee** : orrr they’re

 **julieee** : yknow

 **julieee** : on the date they said they’d be on

 **bromeo** : lmao

 **bromeo** : but seriously

\---

\--i don’t want to talk to my ex 🙃

 **the.ben** : omg he doesn’t know we’re dating

 **the.ben** : holy shit

 **julieee** : no one bothered to tell him?

 **mercuti_ohno** : shit

 **mercuti_ohno** : we should really do that

 **mercuti_ohno** : actually on second thought we absolutely should not bc this is hilarious

 **capital_of_france** : oh you agent of chaos

 **mercuti_ohno** : 😇

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Cats came out a while ago, I just still haven't emotionally recovered from it.
> 
> Also a lot with this fic, especially this chapter, i've been running into the problem of that I just can't show certain things. Like I can't really describe them kissing or deciding to date for the most part because they'd be having those conversations mostly in person. so really i'm not sure how to give you guys those milestones but i hope this is good enough!
> 
> Also i was meaning to update for the last few days, i just haven't been able to. i finally got ahead of my work and had enough time and then i just couldn't write. i doubt you guys want the details as they're pretty boring, but suffice is to say that i had a minor crisis in the middle of the night two nights ago, spent all yesterday sick because of it, and then lost my mind all day today trying to bake a cake. i'm still a little annoyed that i was sick because i felt like a lady in a victorian novel who experiences one (1) emotion and is suddenly taken ill due to her weak constitution or whatever.
> 
> I think we're also starting to near the end here, but there'll be a few more chapters. thank you everyone who've been reading and commenting! i appreciate it so much!!


	16. invalidating feelings

\--direct message: **rosebud 🌹** to **bromeo**

 **rosebud 🌹** : hey romeo

 **rosebud 🌹** : i think we should talk about our relationship

 **bromeo** : ???

 **bromeo** : bruh you mean the one that lasted like three days

 **rosebud 🌹** : omg romeo can you try to be mature

 **bromeo** : huh???

 **bromeo** : am i wrong lmao

 **rosebud 🌹** : we need to talk about our relationship and where it went wrong

 **rosebud 🌹** : otherwise how are we supposed to repair it

 **rosebud 🌹** : do you want to go first or should i

 **bromeo** : u can if u want

\---

\--peepeepoopoo

 **bromeo** sent img_891

 **bromeo** : look what rosaline’s saying

 **the.ben** : 😳

 **the.ben** : holy shit

 **mercuti_ohno** : but you guys?? already?? broke up??

 **bromeo** : I KNOW

 **bromeo** : she’s typing

 **julieee** : i??

 **julieee** : good luck 🤪

\---

\--direct message: **rosebud 🌹** to **bromeo**

 **rosebud 🌹** : romeo, you and your friends are so terrible to me and really hurt my feelings. First of all, juliet kept trying to argue with me and she was wrong all of those times. I don’t think she ever understood what i was talking about. And then on top of that you and your friends have all these inside jokes or just something between you guys that you never include me in. i always feel excluded. Like did you ever wonder why i’d go silent in the gc? Probably not bc you were too busy with your friends. I feel like you were actively trying to exclude me. And yeah you added me to that main chat but none of the others with your friends. Oh, and benvolio and juliet always act like they’re so much smarter than me like umm? I’m definitely smarter than them and they won’t admit that.

\---

\--peepeepoopoo

 **bromeo** sent img_892

 **bromeo** : HUH???

 **merucuti_ohno** : omg 😍 such a sweet message

 **julieee** : i’m like??? Struggling to process this??

 **julieee** : tf is she on about

 **bromeo** : i’m

 **bromeo** : 🙂

 **julieee** : hang on lemme go through this

 **julieee** : first of all, tf does this have to do with me??

 **julieee** : i?

 **the.ben** : ur in her mind rent free

 **julieee** : second tf is all that business with the inside jokes

 **julieee** : and the group chats?

 **julieee** : “you and your friends have all these inside jokes or just something between you guys” oh??? you mean like having friends???

 **bromeo** : i can’t even think this through

 **bromeo** : wtf is she on

 **the.ben** : you have to respond

 **the.ben** : its your turn right

 **capital_of_france** : i don’t understand why she’s doing it like this

 **capital_of_france:** is this a preplanned...structured argument…?

 **mercuti_ohno** : pretty sure she does debate

 **capital_of_france** : ah

 **bromeo** : ok how’s this

 **bromeo** sent img_893

 **the.ben** : perfect

 **the.ben** : spelling mistake in the third line though

 **bromeo** : fixed thx

 **julieee** : good luck 😳💕

\---

\--direct message: **bromeo** to **rosebud 🌹**

 **bromeo** : rosaline?? What the actual fuck?? I don’t even know where to start with this. First of all, what does this have to do with julie? If you have a problem with her than i’m, for obvious reasons, not the person to talk to. Fortunately, you do have a phone and also shared dna so i’m sure you can contact her. Second, i don’t get how i excluded you? Like damn i didn’t know inside jokes weren’t allowed? And i’m sorry you weren’t included in every chat but like?? Why would you be?? You have gcs i’m not in, bc believe it or not, even when we WERE dating (for 3 days) we weren’t a package deal. And i’m sorry if your feelings are hurt but i genuinely don’t know what that has to do with me.

 **rosebud 🌹** : romeo you’re doing it again! I can’t believe you’re invalidating my feelings. You just don’t understand how excluded i felt every time you talked to your friends and not me. It’s just so insulting that when you made new chats you couldn’t add me. You hurt my feelings and you won’t even apologize.

 **bromeo** : HUH???

 **rosebud 🌹** : i’m really hurt. You have to apologize.

 **bromeo** : first of all, i did in the first message. Second, no?? You can’t tell me anything i actually did wrong?

 **rosebud 🌹** : you hurt my feelings

 **bromeo** : yeah but what did i do to make that happen? I’m not responsible for your emotions??

 **rosebud 🌹** : you won’t ever take responsibility! You’re always responsible if you hurt someone

 **bromeo** : yeah, that’s true if you can name one way i’ve hurt you? I’m sorry if i’ve done something but literally what is it

\---

\--peepeepoopoo

 **bromeo** sent img_893

 **bromeo** sent img_894

 **bromeo** sent img_895

 **bromeo** : aaaand she’s not responding

 **the.ben** : holy fuck

 **bromeo** : i literally didn’t do anything???

 **bromeo** : did i do something?

 **the.ben** : no, you actually didn’t

 **the.ben** : turn the conversation back on her

 **the.ben** : go back to what she said to julie bc i’m still angry about it

 **the.ben** : and then talk about how she constantly pressured you to go to parties and get drunk

 **the.ben** : which is ✨illegal✨

 **bromeo** : fuck yeah i forgot about that

 **bromeo** : shit she texted again

\---

\--direct message: **rosebud 🌹** to **bromeo**

 **rosebud 🌹** : you never apologized!!!

 **bromeo** : i literally just did a second time?

\---

\--peepeepoopoo

 **bromeo** sent img_898

 **bromeo** : this close to just texting her

 **bromeo** : read.

 **mercuti_ohno** : HAHAHAHA DO IT

 **capital_of_france** : she’d absolutely lose her shit lmao

 **bromeo** : bruh its 1am i wanted to be asleep an hour ago

 **bromeo** : does she HAVE to take twenty minutes to respond each time??

 **julieee** : dude just go to sleep

\---

\--direct message: **rosebud 🌹** to **bromeo**

 **rosebud 🌹** : you don’t care about my feelings at all

 **rosebud 🌹** : you’re so heartless

 **bromeo** : i literally already apologized for something i didn’t do but go off lmao

\---

\--peepeepoopoo

 **bromeo** : fuck it i’m going to sleep

 **capital_of_france** : what time is it? tomorrow i have a chem lab

 **julieee** : read.

 **mercuti_ohno** : HAHAHAHA

 **the.ben** : wait guys you can’t say that ☹️ it’s an inside joke ☹️ we’re excluding rosaline ☹️

 **julieee** : omg i’m so sorry

 **capital_of_france** : lol gn guys

 **mercuti_ohno** : gn!!

 **mercuti_ohno** : hey ben 😏 wanna come over

 **the.ben** : bet 😏

 **the.ben** : wait but fr this weekend good?

 **mercuti_ohno** : sure!!

 **bromeo** : oh u guys are hanging out? Can i come?

 **julieee** : actually romeo why don’t we go get ice cream or something?

 **bromeo** : oh ok!! That sounds great!

 **the.ben** : haha ok

 **the.ben** : gn guys!!

 **mercuti_ohno** : lol gn

 **bromeo** : wait what’s funny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I'm back!
> 
> So since I last updated, i wrote a whole angsty Harry Potter thing, outlined two other fics I probably won't finish, and started school. Since school just started for me, I was a little busy for a bit finishing up my summer work and sorting out zoom. Spoiler alert: zoom doesn't work well and google meets doesn't work at all. But I think this fic is gonna last a lot longer now that I'm back in school bc I have all new annoying experiences to project.
> 
> Also, this whole conversation is almost straight from real life. The whole thing about the inside jokes and group chats? Yeah. the real Rosaline really got mad at us for that. honestly some of the texts are almost verbatim.
> 
> I do have some new plotlines planned though! So yayyyy writing!
> 
> Updates are probably going to stay pretty slow but i can probably get a new chapter up at least once a month, hopefully more often.
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who's been keeping up!!


	17. Bonus: Character Drawings

/>

/>

/>

/>

/>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! It turns out it's pretty difficult to write in class, but not that hard to draw. So I drew Juliet while in pre calc. No I don't understand the lesson, yes there's gonna be a test on it, I don't want to think about it.
> 
> I have a rough plan for the next few chapters, so hopefully there'll be one out soon! In the mean time, I hope you guys like the drawings! This is just loosely how I was picturing them while writing, of course you guys can picture whatever you want. i just thought they'd be fun to draw!
> 
> Also just some fun facts about my fic in particular, I've decided that Romeo and Benvolio are Jewish because I'm Jewish and the high holidays are coming up. So basically, this is just so that I can vent my frustrations about fasting for Yom Kippur through the characters. I know a lot of people aren't that familiar with Judaism, so I'll do my best to explain as I go, but if anyone has any questions about what i'm writing or the holidays or culture in general please feel free to ask!
> 
> I think Juliet turned out pretty, which I'm really happy about! Mercutio's a little wonky but I think he looks nice enough.
> 
> I’m also gonna take this as an opportunity for a self plug! If you want to check out fan art in this sort of style, go find my instagram @art.emmiss!! I post my traditional art and paintings and such on my instagram @_art_by.ella_
> 
> Thank you for keeping up! I think I'll be able to update properly soon.


	18. aunt rhoda

\--peepeepoopoo

 **the.ben** : mr louis stfu challenge

 **bromeo** : wait what’s happening i’ve been zoned out for the last ten minutes

 **julieee** : he’s going over the test

 **bromeo** : wait what

 **bromeo:** when is it

 **the.ben** : friday 😃

 **the.ben** : and guess which day rosh hashanah is 😃

 **bromeo** : i don’t even know what day today is

 **the.ben** : saturday 😃

 **bromeo** : oh fuck

 **bromeo** : my mom’s gonna kill me

 **the.ben** : AND me

 **the.ben** : and she’ll probably summon your brother to help

 **mercuti_ohno** : wait what’s happening

 **the.ben** : we have a test the day before rosh hashanah

 **the.ben** : and all the classes are supposed to take the second half of the test after school

 **the.ben** : which is a problem bc jewish holidays technically start the night before

 **the.ben** : and we were supposed to drive over right after school to see our grandparents

 **bromeo** : and aunts

 **bromeo** : and uncles

 **bromeo** : and first cousins

 **bromeo** : and second cousins

 **the.ben** : don’t even start with that i hate all of them

 **bromeo** : and third cousins

 **bromeo** : and one blood sucking demon i refuse to believe is related to us

 **capital_of_france** : your parents are gonna kill u?? It’s not your fault

 **the.ben** : oh they won’t kill us immediately, but they’ll make us email mr louis for an extension and that will DEFINITELY kill me 💞

 **bromeo** : all of his make up tests are ✨3x harder than the original test✨

 **the.ben** : it’s a point of pride for him

 **mercuti_ohno** : uhhhhh good luck with that

 **mercuti_ohno** : but can we circle back to that one blood sucking demon ur related to

 **the.ben** : ahh, aunt rhoda

 **bromeo** : she once stopped talking to our whole family because there was a blizzard the day of her grandson’s bar mitzvah so we couldn’t go

 **the.ben** : i think she also cast a curse on us

 **mercuti_ohno** : do jews have curses???

 **the.ben** : no clue

 **the.ben** : they didn’t cover that in hebrew school

 **bromeo** : aunt rhoda also started a fight at my bar mitzvah

 **bromeo** : in theory it was over politics but i think aunt rhoda just really wanted to punch cousin danny

 **julieee** : wait was rhoda the lady at your house the one time i went over

 **bromeo** : oh yeah she was the one who yelled at you because she didn’t like the color of your shirt

 **julieee** : ahh fond memories 💖

 **the.ben** : ugh i don’t want to miss rosh hashanah dinner

 **the.ben** : yeah it mostly sucks, but the FIGHTS

 **mercuti_ohno** : pls film them for me

 **the.ben** : oh no 😼 ur invited 😼 u get to witness this first hand 😼

 **bromeo** : oh mercutio’s coming??

 **bromeo** : grandma’s gonna tear him to pieces

 **mercuti_ohno** : holy fuck why

 **the.ben** : she’s been telling me to marry a nice jewish girl since i was 5

 **the.ben** : and ur none of those things

 **mercuti_ohno** : i’m not nice?

 **the.ben** : no :)

 **bromeo** : ?? i just meant she was gonna try to teach him yiddish

 **bromeo** : you know she’s persistent with that

 **julieee** : do any of y’all know how domains work

 **julieee** : bc louis just said they’re really important for the test

 **the.ben** : oh fuck not even a little bit

 **bromeo** : does this mean we have to pay attention now?? 😒

 **capital_of_france** : i have my notes from last year

 **capital_of_france** : i can teach you guys later

 **bromeo** : bro ur my hero

\---

\--i don’t want to talk to my ex 🙃

 **julieee** has renamed the chat **ap world :(**

 **julieee** : why tf do we have so much hw

 **the.ben** : not him saying we have to use evidence,,

 **capital_of_france** : why are there so many questions 😭😭😭 i’ve got other things to do sir

 **julieee** : fuck it no evidence just my tears

 **julieee** : who needs facts and citations when you have my declining mental state

 **the.ben** : that’s the energy we need

\---

\--peepeepoopoo

 **bromeo** : ROSALINE DID NOT JUST TEXT ME AGAIN

 **bromeo** : HOLY FUCKDSJSHWHWJS

 **mercuti_ohno** : UMM??? CATCH US UP RIGHT NOW

\---

\--direct message: **rosebud 🌹** to **bromeo**

 **rosebud 🌹** : you didn’t apologize. I can’t believe you’re not taking responsibility for my feelings. You hurt me and you won’t even admit it.

 **bromeo** : i??? Swear we’ve had this exact conversation before???

 **bromeo** : like i’m genuinely asking you to name one way i’ve hurt you

 **bromeo** : also are we ready to talk about how you relentlessly criticized me and pressured me to get drunk during the school week orrrr 👀

\---

\--peepeepoopoo

 **bromeo** sent img_899

 **bromeo** : did i do it right

 **the.ben** : YES ROMEO

 **the.ben** : THATS WHAT I BEEN SAYINGGGG

 **julieee** : YOU DID GREAT

 **mercuti_ohno** : GET HER ASS

 **capital_of_france** : watch it take her another four hours to respond 😶

 **bromeo** : yeah ❤️

 **bromeo** : it’s been a few minutes i’m gonna text again

\---

\--direct message: **bromeo** to **rosebud 🌹**

 **bromeo** : are u busy?? Ur the one who wanted to do this

 **rosebud 🌹** : i have sat prep

 **bromeo** : since 3pm?

\---

\--peepeepoopoo

 **bromeo** sent img_900

 **bromeo** : it’s 9pm.

 **bromeo** : how has she been in sat prep for 6 hours every. single. Day.

 **julieee** : can i tell you a secret

 **julieee** : i did better than her on her last practice test

 **julieee** : even though she’s been in tutoring daily for two months

 **the.ben** : THATS GOTTA BE WHY SHE HATES YOU

 **the.ben** : YOU JUST ASSERTED YOUR DOMINANCE SO HARD IT BROKE HER

 **mercuti_ohno** : power move

 **julieee** : ikr

 **julieee** : ok bye y’all i gotta go cry over world for the next six hours 😼

 **the.ben** : omg me too!!

 **the.ben** : facetime me i’m not doing this alone

 **capital_of_france** : me too pls i am Struggling

 **julieee** : ok

 **bromeo** : HA i have no hw

 **bromeo** : and that’s on underachieving :)

 **mercuti_ohno** : as if you’d do your hw anyway

 **bromeo** : shhh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I had the time to actually write a proper chapter today! I still have a ton of homework to do, but that's a problem for future me.
> 
> I really do have a test after school the day before rosh hashanah, and I really am supposed to visit my cousin that night. And I really can't do a make up test. On the bright side, online school means we're allowed to use our notes and calculator on the test! Again, if you guys have any questions on rosh hashanah or anything else to with judiasm, i'm happy to answer!
> 
> Also, all of the stories about Ben and Romeo's family are real. I combined all my stories from different aunts into one character, but this did all happen. The only thing I really changed was that at my actual bat mitzvah my aunt and cousin did fight, but there weren't any punches. Also my aunt was actually right that time? Which was weird bc she's nuts. I can't wait to write about Ben and Romeo's grandma, bc ohhh boy do I have some crazy stories about mine. I love her though.
> 
> Also my real ap world class is in fact killing me.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!! Have a great day :)


	19. the rosh hashannah special

—peepeepoopoo

 **the.ben** : hi guys i’m hiding in the bathroom 😃

 **the.ben** : i can’t let any of the aunts catch me on my phone

 **the.ben** : or my grandma

 **the.ben** : she wouldn’t mind that i’m on my phone, but she’d make me reorganize her phone calendar and call all her doctors for her

 **julieee** : what are grandchildren if not free tech support

 **the.ben** : i feel a little bad that i left mercutio with my family but he’s strong he can take it

 **capital_of_france** : what a fantastic boyfriend you are

 **the.ben** : ikr

 **the.ben** : i just heard my grandma start advising mercutio on tax evasion and that was my limit

 **the.ben** : i just got up and left for the bathroom

 **the.ben** : no one asked why i took a plate of my aunts mandel bread with me

 **julieee** : good for you

 **julieee** : but really?? tax evasion was your breaking point??

 **the.ben** : it was prefaced by a TWO HOUR HISTORY LESSON

 **the.ben** : mercutio does NOT NEED TO KNOW ABOUT MY GREAT GREAT GREAT AUNT CHAVAS SIX KIDS

 **bromeo** : hey guys 😃

 **bromeo** : was anyone gonna tell me that benvolio and mercutio are dating or was i supposed to hear my grandma and aunt sarah come up with a twelve point plan of how they’re supposed to have kids and figure it out myself

 **the.ben** : 🚶🏻

 **the.ben** : i mean how else are you supposed to find out

 **julieee** : aren’t they so cute though 🥺

 **bromeo** : no

 **the.ben** : love you romeo ❤️

 **bromeo:** ok ❤️

 **the.ben** : damn 😒

 **the.ben** : wait get off your phone rhodas gonna yell at you

 **bromeo** : oh no it’s fine i’m hiding in the UPSTAIRS bathroom

 **the.ben** : solidarity 😼

 **the.ben** : but fuck one of us has to go back

 **the.ben** : we can’t leave mercutio alone out there

 **the.ben** : they're probably already part way through the extensive background check

 **bromeo** : he’s your boyfriend you should go

 **the.ben** : he’s your best friend

 **bromeo** : boyfriend trumps best friend

 **bromeo** : do you want him to think you don’t love him anymore 🥺

 **the.ben** : oh fuck off you know i’m much more stubborn than you

 **bromeo** : hey i’m not leaving this bathroom

 **bromeo** : you’re the one who wanted to make sure he wasn’t alone

 **the.ben** : fine i’m going

 **the.ben** : but i’m gonna convince grandma to pull out all your baby pictures

 **bromeo** : you wouldn’t dare

 **bromeo** : is he gone

 **bromeo** : ahh young love 😊💕

 **julieee** : i thought you said they weren’t cute

 **bromeo** : oh they're definitely not

 **bromeo** : but my family’s gonna be all focused on them and i could get away with murder

 **bromeo** : i’m gonna start a cult with my little cousins

 **julieee** : so they don’t mind that mercutio's a non jewish boy?

 **bromeo** : oh no they’re thrilled

 **bromeo** : our cousin just mentioned that he doesn’t want to have kids and him and his girlfriend aren’t planning to get married

 **bromeo** : i think my grandma almost dropped dead then and there

 **bromeo** : so they're all thrilled that bens dating anyone, even if he is a goyishe boy

 **julieee** : omg theres gonna be a wedding!!

 **bromeo** : don't even start with that it’s all my family’s talked about all night

 **bromeo** : pls no weddings

 **capital_of_france** : uhh,, weren’t y’all about to get married like a week ago

 **julieee** : and what about it

 **capital_of_france** : 😳 nvm

 **bromeo** : bruh i’ve been ignoring rosalines texts since last night

 **bromeo** : julie ty for not being psycho

 **julieee** : np 💕

 **julieee** : you really were a pretty good boyfriend

 **bromeo** : thanks!!

 **bromeo** : hey u ever wanna get back together just hmu

 **julieee** : sure 😊

 **capital_of_france** : am i interrupting something?? bc i just wanted to know if you guys did the english hw yet

 **julieee** : oh dw ur not interrupting anything!!

 **julieee** : i did the reading but i haven’t answered the questions yet

 **bromeo** : this is the first i’m hearing of any hw

 **capital_of_france** : ok ty!!

 **julieee** : romeo do you want to come over tomorrow?

 **bromeo** : i can’t tomorrow but i’ll be there sunday

 **bromeo** : i can bring some deserts i’ll sneak out of here

 **julieee** : perfect!!

 **julieee** : is this a date 😊

 **bromeo** : it is if you want 💞

 **capital_of_france** : hang on hold up what

 **capital_of_france** : usually i’d try not to say anything but mercutio and ben aren’t here so apparently i’m the last line of defense for rationality

 **capital_of_france** : you guys JUST broke up

 **capital_of_france** : romeo is STILL in the middle of another break up

 **capital_of_france** : are you guys sure this is a good idea

 **julieee** : yup!

 **bromeo** : definitely

 **capital_of_france** : let the record show i tried

\---

\--direct message: **rosebud 🌹** to **bromeo**

 **rosebud 🌹** : i’m done with tutoring

 **rosebud 🌹** : i never did any of this to you

 **rosebud 🌹** : honestly i don't think we’ll ever agree because you’re just too stubborn

 **bromeo** : perfect!! so is this finally over? :D

 **rosebud 🌹** : and you’re just avoiding all your responsibility again!!

 **bromeo** : ummm projecting much??

 **bromeo** : are YOU gonna take responsibility for the alcohol thing?

—-

—peepeepoopoo

 **the.ben** : we’re in the car home and i got to read through ur messages and i’m gonna say the same thing i said last time

 **the.ben** : julie, what are you doing with my cousin ur way too good for him

 **julieee** : i know but i like him anyway

 **mercuti_ohno** : hey, at least she acknowledges it

 **mercuti_ohno** : character growth! 😊

 **bromeo** : i feel,,, so betrayed

 **bromeo** : and i can’t believe NONE OF YOU thought to tell me my cousin was dating my best friend

 **bromeo** : NONE OF YOU

 **julieee** : in our defense it was pretty obvious

 **bromeo** : it was NOT

 **capital_of_france** : last time we all hung out they spent the whole time cuddling

 **bromeo** : yeah but they’ve been doing that for years

 **bromeo** : plus that’s just a bro thing

 **julieee** : umm pretty sure it’s not

 **bromeo** : how would you know you’re a girl

 **the.ben** : how many boys have you cuddled with romeo

 **bromeo** : moving on, 

**bromeo:** aunt rhoda should NOT have found out before me

 **the.ben** : yeah i could’ve done with a few less oy veys 

**bromeo** : a few?? every time she saw mercutio she she said it and sighed dramatically for the next few minutes

 **mercuti_ohno** : hey what’s wrong with me

 **the.ben** : i think it was the hair that did it

 **julieee** : please tell me he at least combed it

 **the.ben** : oh julie

 **the.ben** : what do you think

 **capital_of_france** : wait hang on am i the only single one

 **capital_of_france** : wtf

 **capital_of_france** : i’m an angel

 **bromeo** : aww you’ll find someone

 **the.ben** : i can’t believe romeo has a gf and paris doesn’t

 **the.ben** : wtf

 **mercuti_ohno** : do we know any girls besides juliet

 **mercuti_ohno** : literally all i can think of is rosaline but uhh

 **bromeo** : oh yeah i’m ignoring her rn

 **julieee** : good

 **the.ben** : i’m so tired i’m gonna crash

 **mercuti_ohno** : don't you dare

 **mercuti_ohno** : i am not capable of talking to your parents the whole way home i don’t have the social skills for that

 **the.ben** : lmao k gn

 **mercuti_ohno** : hes,,, actually asleep 😒

 **julieee** : awwwww

 **capital_of_france** : omg they're finally properly together

 **julieee** : i’m gonna cry

 **mercuti_ohno** : 😃

 **mercuti_ohno** : i’m ignoring y’all

 **bromeo** : i can’t wait for our date!! 😊

 **capital_of_france** : ok congrats but bye

 **julieee** : bye!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo I wrote this chapter on my phone during class and my world history class starts in one minute. We love online school.
> 
> I'm gonna start off with explaining some of the terms i referenced because i know a lot of people might not know them!
> 
>  **rosh hashana** : this is basically the jewish new year. theres ten days between rosh hashana and yom kippur, which is when you're meant to apologize to all the people you've wronged that year. (i don't personally do this, but it's a nice tradition.) after the ten days is yom kippur, when jewish "adults" (13+ years old) fast and basically think about what they'd done wrong that year. rosh hashana has a tradition of eating sweet food for a sweet new year. One of the mst popular traditions it to eat apple with honey. both rosh hashana and yom kippur have synagogue services, which are longer than normal. i personally don't like them much, but i know some people who prefer them to normal services. some people only go synagogue for the "high holidays" (rosh hashana and yom kippur) which is basically the equivilent of only going to church for christmas and easter. many jewish people are secular, so they might not be as religiously observant, but will keep certain holidays and traditions, which is what my family and i do.
> 
>  **mandel bread** : this is a desert pretty similar to biscotti, literally translating to "nut bread." the version i make has walnuts and chocolate chips. my old family recipe had the consistency of concrete, so i modified it and now i'm pretty sure i make the best mandel bread on the planet.
> 
>  **yiddish** : this is one of many traditional languages that jewish people have spoken. this one was most common in eastern europe, and has a lot of elements of german and polish. it's a dying language so my parents and i only know a little, but my grandma and her siblings are fluent!
> 
>  **goy/goyishe** : this just means non-jew. Goy means a non-jewish person, goyim is plural, and goyishe is the adjective. it literally translates to "nation."
> 
>  **oy vey** : this is just a common exclamation. it's kinda like saying "oh my god."
> 
> as always, if you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask!
> 
> rosh hashana actually starts tomorrow night, but I think I'll be pretty busy with homework and seeing family so I'm posting tonight. i've had a lot of fun getting back into writing this! and it's a great distraction from classes haha
> 
> thank you so much for reading!!


	20. gummy worm boy

—peepeepoopoo

 **mercuti_ohno** : hey are y’all willing to flee the country with me

 **the.ben** : sure why

 **mercuti_ohno** : oh no biggie just might commit murder

 **julieee** : oh who you killing 😁

 **mercuti_ohno** : probably rosaline

 **julieee** : oh i’d definitely help you

 **bromeo** : bruh what did she do now

 **mercuti_ohno** : she’s still texting so i’ll send screenshots in a few minutes

\---

\--direct message: **rosebud 🌹** to **mercuti_ohno**

 **rosebud 🌹** : hey mercutio!! i’m sure you know i’ve been having such a rough time with romeo recently

 **rosebud 🌹** : just ughh i feel like there’s no one on my side you know

 **mercuti_ohno** : hm i wonder why

 **rosebud 🌹** : but you know you were always so nice to me

 **rosebud 🌹** : and i’d love to meet up with you so we can talk some more!

 **mercuti_ohno** : i’d rather not sorry

 **rosebud 🌹** : oh come on, it’ll be fun 😁💕

 **rosebud 🌹** : i know you’re seeing benvolio but that doesn’t mean you can’t explore your options

 **mercuti_ohno** : no

 **mercuti_ohno** : believe it or not i like ben a lot better than you

 **rosebud 🌹** : fine stick with the gummy worm boy

 **rosebud 🌹** : i’m here when you come around

 **rosebud 🌹** : i can’t believe you didn’t comfort me

\---

\--peepeepoopoo

 **mercuti_ohno** sent img_535

 **mercuti_ohno** sent img_536

 **the.ben** : GUMMY WORM BOY????

 **the.ben** : HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 **the.ben** : WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN HAHAHAHAHA

 **julieee** : 🐛 

**bromeo** : i can’t believe she’s texting you guys now holy fuck

 **bromeo** : i can’t stand that girl honestly

 **the.ben** : I'M STILL STUCK ON THE GUMMY WORM THING SHSHSHSHSJDJ

 **the.ben** : ALSO MERCUTIO I CANT BELIEVE YOU LIKE ME BETTER THAN ROSALINE 🥰

 **mercuti_ohno** : I KNOW I'M SO ASHAMED TO ADMIT IT 😔

 **bromeo** : stop flirting

 **the.ben** : you CANNOT talk

 **mercuti_ohno** : so y’all murdering rosaline and fleeing the country with me? yes or no

 **julieee** : yes but where could we go

 **julieee** : especially if we haven’t even graduated high school

 **capital_of_france** : oh i have international citizenship!!

 **the.ben** : ooh perfect we could all commit marriage fraud to get paris’s citizenship

 **julieee** : yay!!✨ i’ve always wanted to visit france

 **julieee** : ugh we can live by the beach it would be amazing

 **the.ben** : oh it would be so great we could all learn french!

 **bromeo** : i think we should live under the eiffel tower 😎

 **the.ben** : i call first on marrying paris

 **mercuti_ohno** : second!!

 **capital_of_french** : wait guys i don’t have french citizenship

 **the.ben** : what

 **the.ben** : then what citizenship do you have

 **bromeo** : your name is literally paris

 **capital_of_french** : yeah but i have brazilian citizenship

 **julieee** : you’re brazilian?

 **capital_of_france** : nope

 **mercuti_ohno** : so how do you have brazilian citizenship

 **capital_of_france** : my mom was heavily pregnant with me but she didn’t notice

 **capital_of_france** : then she went to brazil on vacation

 **capital_of_france** : then i was born, with citizenship

 **julieee** : she… didn’t notice?

 **capital_of_france** : nope

 **mercuti_ohno** : okay i’m pretty happy with brazil too

 **julieee** : i’m sure it’s lovely, right paris? 😊

 **capital_of_france** : i’m sure it is, but i’ve never been

 **capital_of_france** : my mom and i usually go to france for vacation

 **the.ben** : ok 👍😃

 **the.ben** : commit murder and flee to brazil

 **the.ben** : we’re all good with this?

 **julieee** : i can’t go until friday, I have my next essay due thursday night

 **mercuti_ohno** : if we’re dropping out does it really matter

 **julieee** : yes

 **the.ben** : absolutely

 **bromeo** : wait but me and julie will have to wait so long to get married if we both have to marry paris first

 **bromeo** : i want to be the one to marry her ☹️

 **julieee** : aww babe its ok

 **julieee** : we’ll get married as soon as possible 💖

 **the.ben** : ew gross

 **mercuti_ohno** : ikr

 **the.ben** : let’s never do that

 **mercuti_ohno** : preach

 **julieee** : 😢 i’m sorry that you guys are emotionally constipated

 **bromeo** : they just don’t understand love

 **mercuti_ohno** : no we understand it

 **mercuti_ohno** : we just choose to ignore it

 **the.ben** : suppressing your feelings ftw 😼

 **bromeo** : - said ben in middle school

 **the.ben** : shut up i thought we agreed never to speak about middle school

 **julieee** : romeo did anything else happen with my cousin

 **bromeo** : i think she’s been texting me but i have her muted

 **bromeo** : i’ve been complaining to tybalt though

 **bromeo** : he seems so glad to hear from me

 **julieee** : i’m sure

 **mercuti_ohno** : i’m still processing that she thought i’d leave ben for her

 **the.ben** : ikr?? I’m hot and smart and incredible and she’s…

 **mercuti_ohno** : i think you’ve got a little too much confidence there bud 😁

 **the.ben** : at least i wash my hair 😁

 **mercuti_ohno** : at least i have a life outside school 😁

 **the.ben** : at least i haven’t failed any classes 😁

 **mercuti_ohno** : at least i’m not incredibly handsome 😁

 **the.ben** : at least i’m not the funniest person alive **😁**

 **mercuti_ohno** : at least i’m not a literal genius 😁

 **the.ben** : at least i’m not wildly hot 😁

 **mercuti_ohno** : dude ur the best

 **the.ben** : no u

 **capital_of_france** : what an incredible dynamic

 **capital_of_france** : i feel like there should be published research on it

 **bromeo** : me and julie aren’t as interesting?

 **capital_of_france** : nah y’all are just mushy and sweet

 **julieee** : awww 🥺💕

 **mercuti_ohno** : image being mushy and sweet

 **the.ben** : COULD NOT be us

 **capital_of_france** : actually that right there was pretty mushy and sweet

 **the.ben** : oh it was NOT

 **mercuti_ohno** : yeah um? no

 **julieee** : awww mercutio’s standing up for his boyfriend

 **mercuti_ohno** : what???

 **capital_of_france** : they’re so cute 😭

 **the.ben** : i’m outta here

 **mercuti_ohno** : me too

 **bromeo** : awww they’re even making dramatic exits together

 **julieee** : 🥺

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I hope you're all doing okay!
> 
> I've got an actual plot line planned, by the way, so that might be starting in the next few chapters if everything goes according to plan. i think it'll be fun! It'll also pretty heavily feature tybalt.
> 
> i'm still pretty sad to find out that ruth bater ginsberg died during rosh hashana. as an american it's so scary to see what'll happen without her. but school's going pretty well for me right now and my state is recovering well from covid so i'm a little optimistic!
> 
> thanks for reading! have a great day!


	21. the debate special

\--peepeepoopoo

 **bromeo** : i’ve eaten all the food in my house

 **the.ben** : dude the fast ended last night

 **the.ben** : you can’t possibly still be hungry

 **bromeo** : you’d be surprised

 **julieee** : are you guys watching the debate tonight

 **the.ben** : definitely

 **the.ben** : i need trump to get pummeled 🕳🍊🤛

 **mercuti_ohno** : my parents already have the news on so i’ll probably watch with them

 **capital_of_france** : it’ll probably just upset me but i’ll watch it anyway

 **capital_of_france** : maybe it’ll be entertaining

 **mercuti_ohno** : oh it’ll definitely be entertaining 😏 

**bromeo** : i’m watching if you guys are

 **the.ben** : wait it’s starting

 **mercuti_ohno** : holy fuck he’s already interrupting

 **meructi_ohno** : can someone mute donald ducks mic pls

 **capital_of_france** : donald trump stfu challenge

 **julieee** : HOL FUCK DID U GUYS JUST SEE THAT

 **the.ben** : JOE BIDEN JUST CALLED TRUMP A CLOWN ON NATIONAL TELEVISION

 **mercutio_ohno** : YESYEYSYE YESYES YEE STSTSHS

 **julieee** : the moderator looks ten seconds away from quitting his job and moving to canada and i’m right there with him

 **bromeo** : trump looks completely unhinged ong

 **bromeo** : he looks like he’s about to explode

 **mercuti_ohno** : ugh i hope he does it would make great television

 **bromeo** : did he just take credit for football???

 **julieee** : wtf is happening

 **the.ben** : omg guys he brought back football we have to vote for him now 😳💪🍊

 **mercuti_ohno** : lmao is he talking about ohio

 **mercutio_ohno** : lol ohio isn’t even real 😆

 **julieee** : i can’t get over how shitty his hair looks

 **capital_of_france** : don’t forget it cost $70,000 😁🤑

 **the.ben** : i hate it here this is just straight up lying

 **the.ben** : NOT HIM REFUSING TO DENOUNCE WHITE SUPREMACY

 **mercuti_ohno** : WTFF HOW IS THIS COUNTRY REAL

 **julieee** : HAHA 🏃

 **julieee** : TRUMP LOOKS SO CONSTIPATED TOOO

 **bromeo** : is it over yet is it over yet

 **capital_of_france** : yup

 **bromeo** : oh thank god what a shitshow

 **the.ben** : i still have homework due in two hours 🤪 gotta do that eventually

 **julieee** : fuckkk me too

 **julieee** : pls no

 **julieee** : ft? 💞

 **the.ben** : yes absolutely

—-

—peepeepoopoo

 **the.ben** : i wrote my whole essay in under an hour

 **julieee** : he did!! 💗

 **the.ben** : i think this is a new record for me

 **capital_of_france** : i’m still processing “would you shut up man”

 **mercuti_ohno** : what a power move

 **mercuti_ohno** : we love that for him

 **bromeo** : there’s no way any of that was real

 **bromeo** : the way everyone was just screaming-

 **the.ben** : never 4get putin’s puppy

 **juliee** : i mean is he wrong

 **the.ben** : 🇷🇺 🐶 

**mercuti_ohno** : what a fever dream

 **the.ben** : ok english now

 **capital_of_france** : see y’all there!!

—-

\--direct message: **bromeo** to **julieee**

 **bromeo** : haha the world sure is crazy 😃💗

 **julieee** : what’s up romeo 💕

 **bromeo** : i miss being engaged to you

 **julieee** : awww me too

 **bromeo** : then let’s get engaged again!!

 **julieee** : ok!! ❤️

—-

\--direct message: **julieee** to **the.ben**

 **julieee** send img_555

 **julieee** : 😊

 **the.ben** : holy fuck julie

 **the.ben** : i love you but seriously?? again???

 **julieee** : aw cmon

 **julieee** : i’m really happy!! 💖

 **the.ben** : okayy

 **the.ben** : congrats

 **julieee** : thank you!!

—-

—peepeepoopoo

 **capital_of_france** : not us getting creative writing AND world essays

 **the.ben** : NOOOO 😭😭😭

 **the.ben** : I JUST FINISHED AN ESSAY YOUVE GOT TO BE KIDDING

 **the.ben** : PLS SAY SIKE

 **capital_of_france** : I WISH I COULD

 **the.ben** : welcome back to me screaming

 **julieee** : AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 **the.ben** : brb gonna go yell at a wall for an hour

 **julieee** : wait up i’m going too

 **capital_of_france** : ^^^

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!
> 
> It's been a little over a week I think, but I had some time today to write another chapter! I've been pretty busy with homework, but it was good to write some more.
> 
> I also wanted to say that I made a tumblr just for my fics, @esthernn same as here.
> 
> This chapter is I guess the debate special! Last night's presidential debates were honestly so deeply strange?? I also plagiarized my own tweets from last night a little bit haha
> 
> I'm also gonna start the last plotline, probably in a few chapters? I'm not really sure when yet, but it will feature Tybalt. Maybe afterwards I'll decide to extend the fic but I guess we'll see!
> 
> Thanks for reading!!


	22. the music chapter, part 2

—peepeepoopoo

 **mercuti_ohno** : help

 **mercuti_ohno** : i think i accidentally became a taylor swift fan

 **bromeo** : NOOOOOOO

 **julieee** : YESSSSSS

 **mercuti_ohno** : how did this happen

 **the.ben** : probably from you.. listening to her music

 **mercuti_ohno** : folklore is just 😭😭😭 so good

 **mercuti_ohno** : it’s just that the worst thing that i ever did is what i did to you and if i showed up at your party would you have me would you want me would you tell me to go fuck myself or lead me to the garden in the garden would you trust me, you know?

 **julieee** : i’m so proud of you 😢🥺

 **mercuti_ohno** : THIS IS YOUR FAULT WOMAN

 **julieee** : actually i think it’s bettys fault

 **mercuti_ohno** : i am in THE MIDDLE OF HISTORY and i can’t get betty out of my head

 **bromeo** : i can’t believe you’re listening to taylor swift 💔

 **bromeo** : every day we drift further from gods light

 **the.ben** : silence kanye fan

 **the.ben** : at least its not 100 gecs

 **mercuti_ohno** : I MISS BEING A 100 GECS FAN 😭😭😭 WHY DO I WANT TO LISTEN TO CARDIGAN

 **julieee** : because it slaps next question

 **capital_of_france** : her old music was so good though

 **julieee** : you mean her country music?

 **julieee** : country music fan 😒

 **mercuti_ohno** : at least i don’t like country music 😅

 **capital_of_france** : hey what the fuck

 **the.ben** : all country music except dolly parton and taylor swift is BAD

 **capital_of_france** : come onn it’s good

 **capital_of_france** : it’s the soul of america

 **julieee** : HSHSHSHSS WHAT PARIS YOUVE LIVED RIGHT NEXT TO A HUGE CITY YOUR ENTIRE LIFE

 **capital_of_france** : i’m a farmer at heart

 **the.ben** : i bet you’ve killed every plant you’ve ever had

 **capital_of_france** : maybe so 💔

 **mercuti_ohno** : help the teacher called on me and i didn’t know the answer bc my brain was replaying betty

 **bromeo** : why won’t you guys just listen to good music

 **bromeo** : you’re missing a whole genre

 **the.ben** : of hip hop??

 **the.ben** : nah i listen to hip hop

 **julieee** : nicki and megan make GREAT study music

 **the.ben** : playing wap on repeat at 1am while you write an essay even though it’s not even a good song >>>

 **bromeo** : come ON that’s not what i mean

 **julieee** : the ✨misogyny✨ jumped out

 **bromeo** : i just don’t think female artists are as good

 **capital_of_france** : i think every genres good

 **the.ben** : those are both issues

 **the.ben** : romeo, kanye BAD. female rap GOOD. 

**the.ben** : paris, some music, specifically country music SHIT

 **the.ben** : sidenote, hozier STILL GOOD

 **mercuti_ohno** : benny what is taylor swift

 **the.ben** : currently? a crisis

 **mercuti_ohno** : yeah ❤️

 **julieee** : you all should be listening to folklore

 **julieee** : ben please at least listen to exile i think you’d like it

 **the.ben** : for you i will 💗

 **bromeo** : oh cousin, would you listen to kanye for me

 **the.ben** : no.

 **mercuti_ohno** : BUT I KNEW YOU DANCING IN YOUR LEVIS DRUNK UNDER A STREETLIGHT I KNEW YOU HAND UNDER MY SWEATSHIRT BABY KISS IT BETTER

 **mercuti_ohno** : ben you can’t ever break up with me because then i’d have an ACTUAL reason to cry over folklore

 **mercuti_ohno** : but if you DO break up with me, make sure there’s a whole cheating love triangle scenario please

 **the.ben** : ok, if i ever plan to break up with you i’ll be sure to reenact folklore first

 **mercuti_ohno** : thanks ❤️

 **mercuti_ohno** : holy fuck the period ended and i didn’t even notice

 **capital_of_france** : i just think you guys are dismissing all country music a little too easily

 **bromeo** : DEFINITELY not

 **bromeo** : i can get behind megan thee stallion, i cannot get behind yeehaw

 **julieee** : wait it’s study hall!!

 **julieee** : paris and mercutio, you get the special prize of listening to folklore with me

 **mercuti_ohno** : yayy!!!

 **julieee** : and we can listen to death metal right after 💞

 **mercuti_ohno** : YESS

\---

\--direct message: **mercuti_ohno** to **the.ben**

 **mercuti_ohno** : https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6TAPqXkZW_I

 **mercuti_ohno** : pls it’s so good

 **the.ben** : is this betty again?

 **mercuti_ohno** : yes :)

 **the.ben** : fine, i’ll give myself taylor swift brain rot

 **the.ben** : and i will hate myself for it

 **mercuti_ohno** : oh we’re well past that

 **mercuti_ohno** : i still haven’t processed that i like taylor swift

 **mercuri_ohno** : you may need to get rid of your indie superiority complex though ☹️

 **the.ben** : 💔 but it’s my entire personality

 **the.ben** : ok wait i’m listening and it’s good?? wtf

 **mercuti_ohno** : RIGHT??

 **the.ben** : ok i love this song but i will absolutely NOT be listening to it on spotify

 **the.ben** : i can’t let it destroy my algorithm

 **mercuti_ohno** : OH SAME

 **mercuti_ohno** : i did have to sacrifice my youtube algorithm though

 **mercuti_ohno** : i’m gonna listen to folklore on repeat for the whole study hall

 **mercuti_ohno** : paris and juliet say hi btw

 **the.ben** : HI!!!

 **the.ben** : don’t you have a physics test in three periods

 **the.ben** : it was kinda hard btw

 **the.ben** : and the last answer is C, it’s a trick question

 **mercuti_ohno** : THANK YOU SO MUCH

 **mercuti_ohno** : and its fine i’ll just study at lunch

 **the.ben** : ok

 **the.ben** : see you in spanish!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys! I wrote this during my film class and I have spanish in five minutes. in my defense, it's really difficult to watch a movie over zoom.
> 
> also, i have no clue what the timeline's like in this fic. because rosh hashannah and the debate happened in real time, but cats came out wayyyy before this fic takes place and also covid isn't a thing. shouldn't i know what's up with the timeline, considering i'm the writer? haha, moving on,
> 
> three minutes till class!
> 
> i also can't stop listening to folklore and idk what's up with that bc i was never a taylor swift fan before. i had an identity crisis.
> 
> thanks for reading!!


	23. monsyour

**the.ben** : “i know how much of a break for you guys this class is” HA bold of her to assume i’m paying attention

 **capital_of_france** : i paid attention once on the first day of school??

 **mercuti_ohno** : what class do u have

 **the.ben** : creative writing

 **the.ben** : not her talking about crafting an essay,,

 **capital_of_france** : NOT HER TALKING ABOUT REREADING

 **the.ben** : you 👇 have 😡 to craft ✍️ your essay 🤗 you can’t 🙄 just ✨ turn in 🙏 your first 👆 draft 👁

 **the.ben** : i haven’t reread a single thing i’ve turned in for her

 **mercuti_ohno** : wait who do you have

 **mercuti_ohno** : monsouire even?

 **mercuti_ohno** : i had her last year

 **the.ben** : isn’t it spelled monsoir?

 **capital_of_france** : i thought it was monserue

 **capital_of_france** : wait isn’t she a woman

 **the.ben** : bruh she’s not even french

 **mercuti_ohno** : she’s SO WEIRD honestly

 **mercuti_ohno** : i think she thinks we’re friends with her

 **mercuti_ohno** : who’s gonna tell her that we don’t want to be friends with a middle aged mother 😁

 **the.ben** : FUCK SHE JUST ASKED TO SEE ME AFTER CLASS

 **the.ben** : DID SHE SEE ME ON MY PHONE AJSJDNDN BYE

 **capital_of_france** : so 😏

 **mercuti_ohno** : so 😏

 **mercuti_ohno** : ben left, ur my bf now

 **capital_of_france** : fine by me

 **capital_of_france** : did even ever do the thing where she’d make you stop during class to find your inner peace

 **mercuti_ohno** : YES wtf was that

 **mercuti_ohno** : lmao how freaked out is ben rn

 **capital_of_france** : very

 **mercuti_ohno** : lol

 **mercuti_ohno** : and that’s why we’re besties right paris 😏

 **capital_of_france** : ofc 😏

 **julieee** : don’t let ben hear y’all say that

 **julieee** : if he’s anything like his cousin he’ll get extremely jealous 😁 and then you’ll have to break up with him 😁 right romeo 😁

 **bromeo** : IM SORRYYYY I APOLOGIZEDDD

 **julieee** : i know 😃

 **mercuti_ohno** : YESSSS JULIE GET HIS ASS

 **mercuti_ohno** : sorry bro

 **bromeo** : it’s ok bro

 **julieee** : it’s ok romeo 💕 ily anyway ❤️

 **mercuti_ohno** : 🙄

 **bromeo** : awww babe 💓 ilysm

 **bromeo** : HEY

 **mercuti_ohno** : sorry 🤷🙂

 **capital_of_france** : how long left in class

 **capital_of_france** : benvolios losing it just the littlest bit

 **mercuti_ohno** : fiveish minutes

 **mercuti_ohno** : tell him i have a surprise for him!! that’ll make him feel better

 **bromeo** : that surprise better not be what i fucking think it is

 **bromeo** : not my cousin

 **bromeo** : i don’t wanna know about the fucking surprise. no surprise. there should be no surprise

 **mercuti_ohno** : that’s homophobic romeo 😐

 **mercuti_ohno** : ALSO CHILLL THE SURPRISE WAS A BOOK HE WANTED

 **mercuti_ohno** : I PICKED UP A BOOK FOR HIM THAT WAS IT

 **julieee** : damn romeo you weren’t such a prude last night

 **mercuti_ohno** : DAMN JULIET

 **juliet** : 😏

 **mercuti_ohno** : julie 😏 we really are bagging the montagues 😏

 **capital_of_france** : please no one elaborate

 **capital_of_france** : in about two minutes i have to go run a mile for P.E. and i don’t want to think about what y’all may or may not be doing with the montagues

 **bromeo** : may 👍 

**capital_of_france** : everybody shut the FUCK up

 **capital_of_france** : class is ending and ben is vibrating like an electric toothbrush. i don’t want to know anything about any of y’all for several reasons, not the least of which being that i am tragically single. 

**capital_of_france** : i’m begging you. pls not a word

 **julieee** : hi

 **capital_of_france** : HOLY FUCKKKDKDJSJS

 **meructi_ohno** : aaaaand that’s the bell

 **mercuti_ohno** : can’t wait to run a mile 😁

 **julieee** : yayyy how fun

 **julieee** : i may have asthma but that’s not stopping the gym teachers!!!

 **bromeo** : HA me and ben have study hall

 **bromeo** : and our teachers incompetent so he didn’t make us run the mile bc he forgot we had to

 **bromeo** : hallelujah!!

 **julieee** : i have a world project i should be doing

 **capital_of_france** : same 😭😭😭

 **the.ben** : great news everybody!! i survived!!

 **mercuti_ohno** : yayyy!!

 **mercuti_ohno** : i don’t need to tragically mourn my lost love 💔

 **the.ben** : it would make a great college essay though

 **mercuti_ohno** : oh yeah that’s true

 **mercuti_ohno** : die pls ❤️ 

**the.ben** : for you maybe ❤️ 

**the.ben** : anyway y’all wanna know the bullshit monswar even wanted me for?

 **julieee** : omg what

 **the.ben** : it wasn’t for being on my phone

 **the.ben** : she heard me mention mercutio to paris and wanted me to stay after class so she could tell me how great an ally she is

 **the.ben** : she wanted to know my hardships 😭😭😭 ma'am we just got drunk there was no drama

 **julieee** : NO AHAHAHHAAHA

 **mercuti_ohno** : WHAT WAS HER THOUGHT PROCESS

 **the.ben** : IDK BUT SHE LOOKED LIKE SHE WAS ABOUT TO CRY THE ENTIRE TIME

 **the.ben** : SHE WAS LIKE “i know how hard this is for youuu it’s so inspiringggg you can always talk to meeee i’m sure it must be so difficult to be with your partnerrrr” LIKE MAAM IM 16 AND I WANT TO GO TO STUDY HALL

 **mercuti_ohno** : OMG AM I YOUR PARTNER???? 🥺

 **the.ben** : APPARENTLY

 **the.ben** : LIKE PLS WEVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR LIKE A WEEK

 **the.ben** : YOU CAN JUST SAY BOYFRIEND

 **mercuti_ohno** : i just know we’re gonna be the hot gossip of the faculty room

 **the.ben** : oh god ur so right

 **mercuti_ohno** : the least they could do is give us 100s 😒

 **the.ben** : we deserve it for all our hardships

 **bromeo** : can i get in on this as the supportive cousin

 **julieee** : in that case can i get that A for being his tragic star crossed lover or something

 **the.ben** : ok let’s go whats your tragic story

 **julieee** : ok ok so me and romeos family’s HATE EACH OTHER, right, so we start dating in secret, so it’s a tragic story of us trying to hide our love

 **julieee** : also one of us is dying

 **mercuti_ohno** : ok awesome i’ll pitch it next time a teacher pulls me aside to cry over me and ben

 **the.ben** : i just need to not do this world project 💔

 **the.ben** : hey even if ur so supportive go tell mr meyers to not give us this project

 **capital_of_france** : i haven’t even started

 **julieee** : idk anything about confucianism

 **julieee** : help

 **the.ben** : i would if i could 💔

 **the.ben** : somebody help us

 **bromeo** : i can ask tybalt for you!! he took ap world last year

 **julieee** : that’s nice of you but i think i’ll ask

 **bromeo** : ok but i think he’d be more willing if i asked

 **julieee** : sure!

 **julieee** : i’ll ask though 😊

 **bromeo** : ok!! 💕

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys!!
> 
> so it's been a little bit, i'd been meaning to write and then i had homework and then i got sick but i still had homework and anyway i wrote this during spanish bc i hate my spanish teacher.
> 
> also, i told my sister (kinda) that i'm writing this, and she's reading romeo and juliet this year, and once she's done i'm gonna let her read this! so hi livia! this was kinda a weird chapter to specifically have you read and also i almost deleted the part in the middle but i think you read worse in percy jackson, so... also you better have enjoyed romeo and juliet bc you got the good english teacher and i know he explained the jokes so you have no excuse. also do your homework.
> 
> and y'all already know how self indulgent this is, my film teacher just IS monseir even. she goes by a weird title and everything. and i do have a huge essay on confucianism


	24. munseuir

—peepeepoopoo

 **the.ben** : monseor even is a DIFFERENT BREED

 **bromeo** : what is it now

 **capital_of_france** : RACISM

 **mercuti_ohno** : 👁👁 

**the.ben** : okok so you know how monsyer wants the english 11 job but is stuck with creative writing and hates the school for it so she does what she wants anyway?

 **the.ben** : she has decided that we’re gonna read

 **the.ben** : ✨the help✨

 **the.ben** : for some good racism education

 **julieee** : YOU MEAN THE QUINTESSENTIAL WHITE SAVIOR BOOK

 **the.ben** : OH YES I DO

 **capital_of_france** : but wait! there’s more!

 **capital_of_france** : before she starts the book, she decided to give us some context by telling us HER OWN WHITE SAVIOR STORY

 **julieee** : AHA WHAT

 **the.ben** : SHE TOLD US ABOUT HER OWN BLACK MAID WHO WAS LIKE FAMILY TO HER AND HOW MUCH SHE HELPED HER OUT AND UM

 **capital_of_france** : YOU MISSED THE PART WHERE SHE WENT TO HER FUNERAL AND FELT SOOO STRANGE AS THE WHITE MINORITY

 **julieee** : 😃

 **julieee** : 🕺

 **capital_of_france** : and then started talking about “the whites and the blacks”

 **julieee** : i feel like at any given time she’s a second away from showing blackface and defending it as education

 **mercuti_ohno** : oh she did that when i had her last year

 **julieee** : 😁

 **julieee** : 🧍

 **julieee** : 🚶🏼

 **julieee** : 🏃

 **mercuti_ohno** : ahhh the american public school system

 **julieee** : hey romeo?

 **julieee** : let’s never take a munseyur even class 😁

 **bromeo** : gladly 😁

 **the.ben** : speaking of nice happy couples 😏 mercutio what’s that gift you’re getting me

 **mercuti_ohno** : it’s a book 😏 and it’s a surprise 😏 

**bromeo** : that better not be a fucking innuendo

 **capital_of_france** : seconded

 **the.ben** : i wouldn’t mind if it was 😏 

**bromeo** : BEN HOLY FUCK

 **the.ben** : but an even better gift would be busting me out of this class

 **the.ben** : monsweur’s talking about how her indian neighbors were racist to her

 **julieee** : i’m gonna get u out 🏋️🤜🚪

 **the.ben** : thanks 😘🤰

—-

\--direct message: **mercuti_ohno** to **the.ben**

 **mercuti_ohno** : i’ll meet you at your locker after class to give you the book

 **the.ben** : wait really

 **the.ben** : dude holy fuck tysm

 **mercuti_ohno** : you better fucking like it bc i had to go to this crazy bookshop run by this crazy old guy and none of the books were organized and they were all stacked like a very scary very high stakes game of jenga and it was so hard to get the book down without dying in an avalanche

 **the.ben** : awwww you survived book jenga for me? ❤️

 **the.ben** : but also you have got to take me there

 **the.ben** : that sounds like heaven

 **mercuti_ohno** : of course it does

 **the.ben** : oh to be an eccentric old man with a scary unorganized book store

 **mercuti_ohno** : will i be there

 **the.ben** : sure but tbh i think you’ll die before me

 **the.ben** : maybe i’ll go crazy after your death and open the bookstore

 **mercuti_ohno** : yeah i’m good with that

 **mercuti_ohno** : i’ll take you over the weekend!!

 **mercuti_ohno** : and see you after!!

 **the.ben** : see you!!

—-

—peepeepoopoo

 **bromeo** : i’ve got news!!

 **the.ben** : ME TOO BUT MINE GOES FIRST BC ITS BETTER

 **the.ben** sent img_741

 **julieee** : OMG IS THAT AN OLD COPY OF CYRANO DE BERGERAC??

 **the.ben** : IT ISSSS

 **the.ben** : THE INSIDE SAYS “to the cyrano to my christian” HWSHHSJSBSNSNS

 **the.ben** : YES ITS CHEESY YES IT KINDA IMPLIES IM UGLY BUT HAHSHSHSHSHSHSJSJSJ ITS SO CUTEEE

 **julieee** : IT IS HOLYJSJSJSJ

 **capital_of_france** : THAT LOOKS LIKE A REALLY OLD EDITION TOO

 **capital_of_france** : AND GREAT QUALITY

 **the.ben** : I LOVE IT SO MUCH

 **bromeo** : DUDE THATS SO COOL

 **the.ben** : I KNOWW

 **mercuti_ohno** : ur welcome lol

 **the.ben** : HNGHHHSUSJJSSJKS

 **mercuti_ohno** : y’all he’s actually shaking rn

 **mercuti_ohno** : it’s almost sad to watch him text lol he can barely hit the buttons

 **the.ben** : 🥺🥺❤️❤️💕✨💓💓✨💗❤️🥺💗✨✨❤️❤️

 **the.ben** : HYYGHESHH

 **bromeo** : is this all it took to break ben?

 **bromeo** : an old book?

 **bromeo** : sure would’ve been handy to know when we were 5 and he kept stealing my snacks

 **mercuti_ohno** : nope, just a book from ME 😏 

**the.ben** : don’t give urself that much credit

 **mercuti_ohno** : 😔

 **the.ben** : ok a little credit

 **mercuti_ohno** : 😌

 **the.ben** : jk

 **mercuti_ohno** : 😔

 **bromeo** : MY TURN FOR NEWS

 **bromeo** : i heard tybalts throwing a party this saturday!! we have to go

 **julieee** : romeo please

 **the.ben** : well me and mercutio conveniently have plans that day

 **mercuti_ohno** : yup

 **capital_of_france** : i’ve got nothing better to do

 **bromeo** : designated driver?

 **capital_of_france** : sure

 **capital_of_france** : considering i’m the only 17 year old going it seems appropriate that it should be me

 **mercuti_ohno** : what’s age got to do with it

 **the.ben** : driving age dumbass

 **mercuti_ohno** : ohhhhh

 **julieee** : i’ll go if you really want

 **bromeo** : YESS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all I'm saying is I happened to watch the help in film class today... and none of this is made up.
> 
> also I went to the COOLEST book store this weekend!! i got 6 hardcovers for $35 it was AMAZING!!! there was this crazy old guy and nothing was organized like there were seven unrelated copies of the odyssey and none of the illiad, a hardcover of shakespeare part 1 (which i bought, it has romeo and juliet) but not part 2. a customer asked the owner where he got all the books and he didn't give a straight answer.
> 
> fun fact, i just got really into dc comics. harley quinn and poison ivy? amazing. the batkids? amazing. alfred? amazing. all of them? amazing.
> 
> hi livia!
> 
> have a great day everyone!!


	25. bestiesss

—peepeepoopoo

 **capital_of_france** : y’all ready to go??

 **bromeo** : yup

 **julieee** : can’t wait !! 💕✨

 **capital_of_france** : okay leaving now

 **the.ben** : hey julie pls don’t let my cousin get drunk this time

 **the.ben** : you too paris

 **bromeo** : okayy dad

 **mercuti_ohno** : i thought i was your daddy ☹️

 **bromeo** : no

 **mercuti_ohno** : 😒

 **mercuti_ohno** : this kinda treatments why i’m going on a nice date with my nice boyfriend instead of to your party

 **mercuti_ohno** : actually i take that back he is not nice

 **the.ben** : omg ur an asshole too ❤️

 **mercuti_ohno** : omg 🥰

 **capital_of_france** : i’ll do my best to take care of everyone

 **capital_of_france** : be there in five minutes

—-

\--direct message: **t.cap** to **the.ben**

 **t.cap** : is this benvolio

 **t.cap** : if so please get romeo out of here

 **the.ben** : what did he do

 **t.cap** : well currently he’s on my couch pouring what i think is milk?? all over my cousin

 **the.ben** : juliet????

 **t.cap** : no rosaline

 **the.ben** : oh

 **the.ben** : no offense but good for him

 **t.cap** : hey no i agree

 **t.cap** : there’s a reason i haven’t stopped him

 **the.ben** : 😏 

**t.cap** : but deadass get this guy out of here

 **the.ben** : i’ll text paris and julie

 **the.ben** : they’re the designated adults and i don’t want to be responsible rn

 **t.cap** : idk where the other one is but julies asleep on the couch next to dickhead supreme

 **t.cap** : even drunk she’s too good for him

 **the.ben** : I KNOW RIGHT

 **the.ben** : THATS WHAT I SAID

 **the.ben** : i’ll text paris and let you know

 **the.ben** : i do not want to be leaving my perfectly nice date for this stupid party

 **the.ben** : no offense

 **t.cap** : nah man none taken

 **t.cap** : this wasn’t exactly meant to be npr news hour over here

 **t.cap** : keep me updated

—-

\--direct message: **the.ben** to **capital_of_france**

 **the.ben** : hey paris you better not be drunk rn

 **the.ben** : if i have to leave a quaint downtown coffee shop to confiscate romeos milk-

 **capital_of_france** : i don’t know how to tell you this

 **capital_of_france** : but i may have some bad news for you 😁

 **the.ben** : jesus fucking christ

—-

\--direct message: **the.ben** to **t.cap**

 **the.ben** : they’re all drunk

 **the.ben** : do i have to come get them or can you just lock them in a room and hope they don’t die

 **t.cap** : nah man i don’t want romeo near my furniture

 **t.cap** : he just threw the empty milk carton at me and shouted “food fight bestie”

 **t.cap** : is he an 8 year old girl

 **the.ben** : yay for healthy masculinity?

 **t.cap** : please just make romeo stop

 **t.cap** : please

 **the.ben** : can you text the address to my boyfriend? his @ is mercuti_ohno

 **t.cap:** k

 **t.cap** : julie mentioned you guys started dating

 **t.cap** : congrats

 **the.ben** : thanks

—-

\--direct message: **t.cap** to **mercuti_ohno**

 **t.cap** : 55 amazon ave

 **mercuti_ohno** : ty

—-

\--direct message: **bromeo** to **mercuti_ohno**

 **bromeo** : yooo dude tybalt just through an apple at me

 **bromeo** : were having g a food fight

 **bromeo** : bet ur jealouss

 **mercuti_ohno** : wow he threw shit at you?? 🤩

 **mercuti_ohno** : congratulations ur so close

 **bromeo** : ikr!) he’s such a good friend we like each other so much : :)

—-

\--direct message: **t.cap** to **mercuti_ohno**

 **t.cap** : romeo is the worst fucking person i have ever met

 **mercuti_ohno** : we’re almost there

 **t.cap** : hey u and ben are welcome to stay once you get here

 **mercuti_ohno** : oh thanks i’ll let him know

 **mercuti_ohno** : ok we’re gonna lock romeo in the car

 **t.cap** : perfect

—-

\--direct message: **the.ben** to **t.cap**

 **the.ben** : hey we’re here

 **the.ben** : where are they

 **t.cap** : they migrated from the couch to one of the bedrooms

 **t.cap** : if i find out your cousin is defiling my cousin-

 **the.ben** : hey i’m right there with you

 **the.ben** : i also don’t want my cousin defiling your cousin

 **t.cap** : 👊

 **the.ben** : found them

 **the.ben** : no defiling, but romeo has a small stash of your food under the bed

 **t.cap** : bruh just leave it

—-

\--direct message: **mercuti_ohno** to **capital_of_france**

 **mercuti_ohno** : yo we locked romeo in the car

 **mercuti_ohno** : julies crying

 **mercuti_ohno** : where are you

 **mercuti_ohno** : also don’t worry the ac is on

 **capital_of_france** : i’m with tybalt

 **capital_of_france** : we’re doing SHOTS

 **mercuti_ohno** : good for you buddy

—-

—peepeepoopoo

 **bromeo** : hi guys

 **bromeo** : where did you goooo

 **bromeo** : i’m cold ;(

 **bromeo** : i’m gonna turn the ac off

 **bromeo** : i wanna rewatch high school musical

 **bromeo** : hey guys remember high school musical

 **bromeo** : i’m hot 🥵 

**bromeo** : i’m gonna turn the ac on

 **bromeo** : i’m boardddd when are you guys coming back

 **bromeo** : i played a round of among us

 **bromeo** : i think i met aoc 

**bromeo** : and there was someone named corpse lol isn’t that funny

 **bromeo** : i miss juliet :($

 **bromeo** : i also miss tybalt :(

 **bromeo** : we’re friends he’s so cool

 **bromeo** : i see you guys!!!

 **bromeo** : bennnnyyyy hahahaha mercutio just kissed you

 **bromeo** : that’s gay

 **bromeo** : oh why are you going back inside

 **bromeo** : are you going to sleep

 **bromeo** : i’m going to sleep

 **bromeo** : omg julies here too i see pillows

 **bromeo** : we’re going to sleep!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys!
> 
> i tried my best to get this out today, because my birthdays in three days and I'm celebrating tomorrow, so I figured I'll be busy. plus i'm constantly swamped with homework.
> 
> have a great day!!


	26. November 5, 2020

—peepeepoopoo

 **julieee** : hate a bitch named nevada

 **bromeo** : my back hurts

 **julieee** : and while we’re at it hate a bitch named georgia

 **julieee** : and hate a bitch named pennsylvania

 **the.ben** : hang on hang on georgia’s flipping she may have some rights

 **the.ben** : but FUCK nevadaa

 **bromeo** : y’all left me in a car. all night. fuck y’all

 **the.ben** : can’t stand a bitch named nevada

 **julieee** : EXACTLY BEN 🤟

 **mercuti_ohno** : i’m done with the news

 **mercuti_ohno** : it’s been three days, you lost your chance america 🙄

 **bromeo** : you throw the entire contents of a fridge at ONE GIRL and you lose your rights to a bed

 **julieee** : COME ONNNNN GEORGIA

 **the.ben** : holy fuck i did not just read the words “supernatural” and “destiel” with mine own two eyes in the year of our lord 2020

 **bromeo** : like ok i get i was a little drunk but you couldn’t have stayed with me??

 **julieee** : georgia is single handedly giving me heart palpitations

 **mercuti_ohno** : fuck the election i’m playing minecraft

 **mercuti_ohno** : if america wanted me to pay attention it should’ve picked its president on ELECTION DAY like it’s SUPPOSED TO

 **julieee** : who’s nevada i don’t know her

 **julieee** : georgia's my best friend

 **bromeo** : you guys just locked me in the car like a misbehaving dog. it’s been days. everything hurts. 

**the.ben** : HE SAID I LOVE YOU

 **the.ben** : I AUDIBLY SCREAMED

 **the.ben** : HOLY SHIT DESTIEL CANON

 **mercuti_ohno** : i haven’t played minecraft in so long omg they added so much

 **the.ben** : PLS THE ONE MINUTE LONG CLIP BOUTTA MAKE ME CRY

 **capital_of_france** : i have a math project lol

 **julieee** : omg i have the sat in the morning!

 **capital_of_france** : dodging responsibilities gang!

 **the.ben** : IM FREAKING OUT DESTIEL CANON

 **the.ben** : I HAVE NO CONTEXT BC I HAVENT WATCHED THIS SHOW IN YEARS BUT AHHHHHHHAHAHAHHAHAHHHH

 **julieee** : omg georgia is so close to flipping

 **julieee** : come on come on come on

 **mercuti_ohno** : awwww look at the cute baby cowwww

 **bromeo** : do you know what kind of neck problems i have now

 **mercuti_ohno** : i just killed its mom

 **the.ben** : rewatching it and why does dean look so constipated??

 **julieee** : this election is stressing me out

 **julieee** : the sat is stressing me out

 **julieee** : i’m so stressed out

 **the.ben** : you know what yeah this night is already so goddamn weird

 **the.ben** : supernatural might as well come back

 **bromeo** : i can’t even go to lacrosse bc i’m so sore from the backseat

 **the.ben** : HA lacrosse 😂

 **julieee** : GEORGIA JUST FLIP SO I CAN GO TO SLEEP

 **julieee** : oh god i’m so scared what if i fail

 **julieee** : what if rosalines there i know she’s taking it tomorrow

 **mercuti_ohno** : WHY ARE THERE ZOMBIES WHY ARE THERE ZOMBIES IM DIGGING A HOLE

 **the.ben** : CAS CONFESSED TO DEAN WHICH MADE HIM SO HAPPY HE WENT TO SUPER MEGA HELL????

 **the.ben** : CAS WENT TO ULTRA HELL FOR BEING GAY???

 **bromeo** : my team won their first ever game and i wasn’t there ☹️

 **mercuti_ohno** : i’m not so sure that was a coincidence

 **mercuti_ohno** : FUCKFUCKFUCK CREEPER

 **the.ben** : THAT WAS THE MOST HOMOPHOBIC GAY CONFESSION SCENE I HAVE EVER WITNESSED

 **the.ben** : I JUST KNOWWWW JENSON WANTED TO SAY A SLUR THAT ENTIRE TIME

 **julieee** : i’m so scared idk where to enter the building

 **julieee** : what if i don’t know the math

 **bromeo** : i just want to win ONE game this year

 **bromeo** : i blame you assholes

 **the.ben** : SAY THE SLUR JENSON. SAY IT I FUCKING DARE YOU

 **julieee** : help help help

 **the.ben** : AND YET IM EATING THIS SHIT UP

 **julieee** : GEORGIA JUST TIED

 **mercuti_ohno** : YES YES YES

 **mercuti_ohno** : ‼️‼️‼️

 **mercuti_ohno** : FUCK i just died

 **bromeo** : my entire body hurts

 **bromeo** : i haven’t been able to walk right since the party

 **the.ben** : PUTINS RESIGNING????

 **the.ben** : WAS ANYONE GONNA TELL ME OR WAS I JUST SUPPOSED TO SEE THAT IN A MEME ABOUT SUPERNATURAL

 **julieee** : HES WHAT???

 **capital_of_france** : WAIT DESTIEL???

 **capiral_of_france** : 😳

 **capital_of_france** : I USED TO WATCH THAT SHOW

 **julieee** : PENNSYLVANIAS ABOUT TO FLIP TOO

 **capital_of_france** : i feel like i’m dying.

 **mercuti_ohno** : WHAT IS HAPPENING TODAY

 **julieee** : FR

 **julieee** : AND THEN THE FUCKING SAT TOMORROW

 **julieee** : I GET A 1500 AND THEN I AM DROPPING OUT

 **the.ben** : NOT JENSON ACKLES SAYING THE SCENE WAS VERY HARD TO FILM LMAOO

 **the.ben** : WE KNOW WE COULD TELL

 **capital_of_france** : this is too much for one day. 

**mercuti_ohno** : not us getting canon destiel before a president 😭😭😭

 **bromeo** : and my teams lacrosse win

 **bromeo** : it’s even harder to walk today wtf is up

 **mercuti_ohno** : not us getting canon destiel AND romeos team actually winning before a president 😭😭😭

 **the.ben** : WAIT DEAN DOESNT EVEN RECIPROCATE

 **the.ben** : THERE IS EVERYTHING WRONG WITH THIS SCENE SJSIZHDHDJDJD

 **julieee** : I CANT BELIEVE I HAVE THE SATS IN 10 HOURS

 **bromeo** : i think i might have broken my ankle

 **mercuti_ohno** : AT LEAST WERE PROBABLY GONNA GET A NON FASCIST PRESIDENT???

 **bromeo** : I GOOGLED IT ITS DEFINITEY BROKEN

 **bromeo** : AND HAS BEEN FOR SEVERAL DAYS???

 **the.ben** : ok hang on 

**the.ben:** i’m gonna drive you to the doctor

 **mercuti_ohno** : 🤭🤚

 **julieee** : what is happening today

 **capital_of_france** : i

 **capital_of_france** : 

**mercuti_ohno** : what he said !!

 **the.ben** : romeo i’m omw holy fuck

 **julieee** : i’m crying

 **capital_of_france** : same

 **mercuti_ohno** : 😁

 **mercuti_ohno** : well that’s enough life for one day

 **mercuti_ohno** : i’m going to sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yesterday. was just. the way i didn't even bother to write about the racist artist who roleplayed as ted bundy? or the da vinci/michelangelo smut art that was floating around twitter? i think yesterday was a collective fever dream bc uhhh what
> 
> sorry i didn't update for so long! it was my birthday the day after i posted the last one (it was very nice, ty for all the well wishes) and then i had a ton of hw and then the election which just?? i can't this week has been so weird
> 
> i actually am taking the sats tomorrow and haha... not to crowdsource help on a romeo and juliet fanfiction or anything but if anyone has some last minute tips...
> 
> i have some more chapters planned! the real munseyur has gotten... so much worse, and i always have fresh rosaline content.
> 
> and honestly i still haven't processed the destiel news. that was life changing.
> 
> thank you so much for reading and all the comments! i really appreciate it so much :) have a great day/night!!


	27. livia please don't read this one

—peepeepoopoo

 **the.ben** : where is she.. i am Scared

 **the.ben** : i feel like she’s gonna jump out at me with a pride flag

 **capital_of_france** : NOT YOU LOOKING OVER YOUR SHOULDER

 **the.ben** : SHE MIGHT BE HIDING IN THE CLOSET WAITING TO JUMP OUT

 **the.ben** : SHE DID THAT ONCE

 **mercuti_ohno** : oh oh monsyore??

 **the.ben** : yeah

 **bromeo** : wait guys is it spelled ear

 **mercuti_ohno** : 🤨

 **mercuti_ohno** : is… what spelled ear

 **bromeo** : 👂 

**bromeo** sent an audio file > 0:00 … 0:04

 **julieee** : oh romeo… not the audio file

 **bromeo** : PLS AM I SPELLING IT RIGHT

 **the.ben** : ITS THREE LETTERS

 **bromeo** : YES OR NO DIPSHIT

 **the.ben** : YES 😭

 **bromeo** : THANK you 😒

 **mercuti_ohno** : what the fuck is wrong with you

 **bromeo** : your friendship

 **mercuti_ohno** : oh please that was a rhetorical question

 **mercuti_ohno** : we all know your brain is a polished marble

 **bromeo** : a polished marble for you to stick up your ass

 **the.ben** : WHAT

 **mercuti_ohno** : we both know what’s really up my ass is intelligence and my winning personality

 **the.ben** : i am begging for this to stop 😐

 **bromeo** : you shit all of that out a long time ago

 **mercuti_ohno** : and you ate it for breakfast

 **bromeo** : so now i have all the intelligence and personality? 😏 

**mercuti_ohno** : all of my* intelligence and personality

 **bromeo** : bc you have none of your own

 **mercuti_ohno** : as long as i keep producing shit i keep producing greatness

 **capital_of_france** : y’all…

 **mercuti_ohno** : yes, paris?

 **capital_of_france** : nvm

 **the.ben** : where the FUCK is our teacher

 **the.ben** : i swear to fucking god if this is a test of our patience-

—-

—direct message: **julieee** to **bromeo**

 **julieee** : hey romeo!! 💗

 **bromeo** : hi babe!! ❣️❣️

 **julieee** : i was just thinking

 **julieee** : if we’re engaged, shouldn’t we start planning...?

 **bromeo** : i think maybe we should 🙃

 **julieee** : ok!! i’ll email you some stuff after school

 **bromeo** : love you!! 💖

 **julieee** : ilyt!! 💞

**—**

**—** peepeepoopoo

 **the.ben** : it’s been fifteen minutes we’re legally al-

 **the.ben** : i just wANNA LEAVE 😭😭

 **the.ben** : IM SO BORED

 **capital_of_france** : nnoNo we can’t leave she’s gonna jump out of the closet

 **capiral_of_france** : i bet this is the test

 **mercuti_ohno** : imagine paying attention to physics lol

 **the.ben** : can she just jump out at us already so we can like… do writing class

 **the.ben** : i hate thissss

 **mercuti_ohno** : wanna do my physics hw for me 😏 

**the.ben** : i'm so bored i kinda wanna say yes 😭😭😭

 **the.ben** : why is the world so sick and twisted?

 **mercuti_ohno** : um idk but i’m pretty sure most of it is bc of ronald reagan

 **julieee** : so true king

 **the.ben** : every day i contemplate dropping out of school

 **julieee** : do it king

 **the.ben** : i can't 💔 i’m physically incapable of doing anything except trying my hardest at everything all the time

 **bromeo** : lol could NOT be me

 **mercuti_ohno** : oh we know

 **the.ben** : imagine if… we had a teacher rn

 **capital_of_france** : what a glorious idea 👐

 **capital_of_france** : too bad it exists only in our imaginations 🙃

 **the.ben** : ☝️😔

 **the.ben** : thirty. long. minutes. 

**julieee** : just leave

 **the.ben** : i cant 😭😭😭 i seriously think she might be in the closet

 **capital_of_france** : it has been known to happen

 **the.ben** : i’m gonna nap i am not doing this

 **julieee** : y’all she probably just forgot to call in sick

 **capital_of_france** : no no she’s definitely getting ready for an ambush

 **julieee** : she probably just doesn’t have a sub

 **julieee** : but if you say so

 **capital_of_france** : i know it

 **julieee** : lmao what’s she gonna do, jump out and yell boo??

 **mercuti_ohno** : munseieur b like 👻 

**capital_of_france** : you jest, but she has a history

 **bromeo** : bruh what time is this period over

 **bromeo** : i hate it here

 **capital_of_france** : 5 minutes!!

 **the.ben** : anyone wanna assassinate me before then? 😏 

**mercuti_ohno** : you are NOT important enough to assassinate

 **the.ben** : pls i deserve the nobel peace prize just for putting up with you losers

 **mercuti_ohno** : WHAT HAVE WE EVER DONE TO YOU

 **the.ben** : ROMEO GETS DRUNK AND INJURED EVERY WEEKEND

 **bromeo** : it’s only a sprain :(

 **the.ben** : AND YOU MAKE ME FEEL FEELINGS WHICH IS 🤢 SO GROSS

 **mercuti_ohno** : yeah i do 😏 

**the.ben** : stfu

 **capital_of_france** : THE PERIOD IS ENDING

 **the.ben** : YES YES THE BELLS RINGINGJDJAKAKA

 **the.ben** : AHHHS HOLY FUCK

 **the.ben** : I CANT BELIEVE SHE ACTUALLY DID IT

 **capital_of_france** : SHE REALLY JUST JUMPED OUT OF THE CLOSET

 **the.ben** : SHES BEEN THERE FOR 45 MINUTES

 **julieee** : i… can’t believe that actually happened

 **the.ben** : my heart is beating So fast

 **the.ben** : 😀

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi!!
> 
> sorry the chapters have been a little more spaced out, i've been getting more busy with school.
> 
> but great news! i finished rereading romeo and juliet and JHAJJSHHDFHDJJD i forgot how funny it was. like the romeo and juliet bits are meh (she's!! 13!!) but the benvolio and mercutio bits? incredible. benvolio's first line in the play is "part, fools!". the whole battle of wits. at one point capulet calls tybalt a saucy boy and i don't know what to do with that.
> 
> i also ordered an out of print (i think) edition of the complete works of william shakespeare volume 2 to match my volume 1 and i can't wait for it to ship! i really want to read hamlet, i just kinda vibe with that guy.
> 
> also i forgot that like... all of mercutio's canon dialogue is innuendos so i added a lot more of that. which is why you shouldn't have read this, livia. you're like 11 or 12 or something idk.
> 
> my teacher has actually done this, luckily not to my class. all i can say is... she is a theater teacher.
> 
> thank you so much for reading!!!


	28. career day

\--peepeepoopoo

 **julieee** : sat scores in two days 👅

 **julieee** : vibingggg

 **the.ben** : i’m taking it next month

 **the.ben** : how was it

 **julieee** : i got so bored that i tried to solve gun violence

 **mercuti_ohno** : and what did you decide julie

 **julieee** : gun bad

 **mercuti_ohno** : ‼️

 **bromeo** : i don’t need the sats

 **bromeo** : i’m gonna start my own business

 **the.ben** : romeo you can’t do math

 **bromeo** : so what

 **bromeo** : there’s no math in business

 **the.ben** : 😁👍

 **capital_of_france** : i have to get a 1550 minimum on the sat so i can get into an ivy

 **capital_of_france** : then i’m gonna do bio undergrad pre med

 **capital_of_france** : i’m going to go to medical school at john hopkins and then do my surgical fellowship in boston or chicago

 **juliee** : go king 👑 

**capital_of_france** : im gonna specialize in cardio and after a few years at a hospital i’m gonna go into private practice

 **capital_of_france** : this is because i’m going to meet my wife around then and that way i’ll have enough money to support our growing family 😊

 **mercuti_ohno** : imagine having your life together

 **mercuti_ohno** : could NOT be romeo

 **bromeo** : hey fuck you it’s not like you have YOUR life together

 **mercuti_ohno** : well that’s a given

 **the.ben** : i have, no clue what i want to do with my life

 **the.ben** : double major??? 😃

 **mercuti_ohno** : just be my trophy husband

 **the.ben** : if anything i think you’d be MY trophy husband

 **mercuti_ohno** : nope bc i’m gonna be famous

 **the.ben** : oh sure

 **the.ben** : doing what

 **mercuti_ohno** : i will be figuring that out later 😌

 **julieee** : SJEJFHSJDJDNDJDJS

 **the.ben** : since i’m not counting on mercutios income

 **the.ben** : maybe linguistics?? i speak 1.6 languages

 **the.ben** : or archaeology

 **the.ben** : or classics

 **the.ben** : or all of them???

 **the.ben** : would any of those make me money

 **julieee** : i wanna do fashion design

 **julieee** : or maybe physics

 **the.ben** : i’m having an identity crisis.

 **julieee** : i just need a 1500 or i will simply drop out

 **mercuti_ohno** : do any of y’all have achievable goals 😒

 **mercuti_ohno** : i’d like to be in the 1300s

 **mercuti_ohno** : and then i will simply become famous

 **the.ben** : right

 **the.ben** : at least when romeos business fails we’ll know that julie can support him

 **julieee** : 😊

 **bromeo** : my business will NOT fail

 **bromeo** : but also being a stay at home dad >>>

 **julieee** : awwww ur gonna take care of the kids 🥺🥺

 **bromeo** : i mean they’re gonna have our genes so they’re gonna be adorable 😘

 **julieee** : ilysm 😍😍😍

 **the.ben** : no words

 **mercuti_ohno** : i’d be ok with like,, a cat

 **the.ben** : we should get a cat

 **mercuti_ohno** : i think we can handle that level of responsibility

 **the.ben** : ehh

 **the.ben** : oh oh maybe i can be a vet

 **the.ben** : wait no medical stuff stresses me out

 **julieee** : i think i’ll stick with fashion design

 **julieee** : a minor in physics would be pretty cool though

 **bromeo** : that’s my scientist 😘

 **julieee** : i have never once understood a science class 🥰

 **bromeo** : ily

 **julieee** : ilyt

 **mercuti_ohno** : ok they’ve gotta be doing this just to annoy us

 **capital_of_france** : honestly

 **bromeo** : wait what are we reading in english

 **capital_of_france** : beowulf

 **mercuti_ohno** : i am not reading bo wolf whatever the fuck

 **the.ben** : it’ll probably have homoeroticism

 **the.ben** : they always have homoeroticism

 **mercuti_ohno** : ok true true

 **julieee** : it’s in old english it’ll be fun

 **bromeo** : bruh i barely speak new english

 **the.ben** : maybe instead of linguistics i do english??

 **the.ben** : no then i’m DEFINITELY not making any money

 **julieee** : who wants to financially emotionally and mentally support me through design school 😏 

**the.ben** : i would but idk if i’m making any money either

 **the.ben** : maybe i just shouldn’t go to college

 **capital_of_france** : i’m not gonna have any money for like a decade but once i go into private practice i’ll help!! 😊

 **julieee** : is our only option rlly just relying on mercutio getting famous 💔

 **mercuti_ohno** : 😏 

**bromeo** : and my business!!

 **mercuti_ohno** : no

 **capital_of_france** : one of these days we’re gonna have to stop texting during class

 **capital_of_france** : i have no clue what’s happening

 **julieee** : idk any math 💔

 **the.ben** : maybe i will simply major in engineering

 **julieee** : i wanna drop out

 **mercuti_ohno** : y’all joke about it but i’m the one who’d actually do it

 **mercuti_ohno** : i’ll be one of those stories they tell dumb kids

 **mercuti_ohno** : “it’s ok if ur stupid, mercutio was stupid too and now he’s famous!”

 **the.ben** : shut up ur not stupid

 **the.ben** : ur just lazy

 **the.ben** : and even so ur rlly good at everything you put effort into

 **mercuti_ohno** : 😳 benny

 **the.ben** : jk i hate you and ur stupid

 **mercuti_ohno** : and that’s on avoiding ur feelings!!

 **the.ben** : PLEASE ur way worse at feelings than me

 **mercuti_ohno** : AM NOT

 **mercuti_ohno** : ur so handsome and i love spending time with you

 **the.ben** : HA 

**the.ben** : i love you

 **the.ben** : TAKE THAT

 **mercuti_ohno** : omg really 🥺

 **the.ben** : yeah dumbass

 **mercuti_ohno** : 😭

 **the.ben** : I WIN

 **the.ben** : HAHAHAHAAAAA FUCK YOUUU

 **capital_of_france** : ben, i don’t think you have the emotional maturity that you think you do

 **the.ben** : 🖕

 **mercuti_ohno** : ily bennyyyyyy

 **the.ben** : thanks

 **bromeo** : HAHSHSHSHSHDJS BEN

 **the.ben** : shut up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!!
> 
> Happy Supernatural day! I may not have watched the show in two years and I may be at least 6 seasons behind, but I Will be watching the finale tonight. My bet's that Cas is gonna come back in a female vessel.
> 
> I got to go back to the bookstore today and I got a 1953 edition of A Room With a View!! I can't wait to read it. Also Shakespeare Volume 2 came today!!
> 
> I get my SAT results in a few hours so hahaaaa :) hope that goes well
> 
> Thanks for reading! Have a great day!!


	29. the school nurse

—peepeepoopoo

**mercuti_ohno** : so funny story 

**mercuti_ohno** : i got hurt during gym

**the.ben** : none of you were watching him??

**julieee** : damn benvolio i didn’t know it was my job to babysit your boyfriend

**the.ben** : bc you’re too busy babysitting your own?

**julieee** : yes. 

**julieee** : that being said WHAT THE FUCK MERCUTIO WE LEFT YOU ALONE FOR TEN SECONDS

**mercuti_ohno** : IT WASNT MY FAULT R*SALINE PUNTED A SOCCER BALL AT ME

**mercuti_ohno** : oh fuck there’s blood

**mercuti_ohno** : you know what that means

**capital_of_france** : oh no

**the.ben** : NO. NOT HER. 

**the.ben** : CAN EITHER OF YOU GO WITH HIM??

**julieee** : i asked they wouldn’t let me 😭

**the.ben** : aha fuck

**mercuti_ohno** : SHES GONNA KILL ME

**bromeo** : no one cared this much when i got hurt

**the.ben** : YOU DIDNT HAVE TO GO TO THE SCHOOL NURSE WHEN YOU GOT HURT ROMEO

**capital_of_france** : once i went in bc i was coughing and she yelled at me until i left

**capital_of_france** : it turned out i had pneumonia

**julieee** : at least twice a year i go to her during lunch. she tells me i need a pass. i return to lunch. i ask for a pass. they tell me they don’t give out passes because it’s lunch. i go back to the nurse. she yells at me until i leave again. i suffer. 

**capital_of_france** : she’s definitely killed a child. 

**the.ben** : 😔☝️

**mercuti_ohno** : pray for me

**bromeo** : bro u think i paid attention in hebrew school??

**bromeo** : uhhh baruch atah??

**the.ben** : do you want me to google a prayer and try to read it off my cracked phone screen bc i will

**the.ben** : it’s desperate times. it’s the school nurse. 

**capital_of_france** : i’m gonna text my mom

**capital_of_france** : i bet she knows a good prayer

**mercuti_ohno** : NO IM ALMOST TO THE NURSE

**mercuti_ohno** : ILL SEE YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE ✊

**capital_of_france** : MY MOM IS PRAYING FOR YOU!!

**the.ben** : did he look bad

**julieee** : the cut did look pretty bad

**julieee** : i know he’ll be fine though! 💞

**bromeo** : hey guys my ankle still hurts

**julieee** : awww poor babyy 🥺

**the.ben** : you make me carry your books everywhere. i don’t feel bad for you 😐

**bromeo** : well fuck you bro

**julieee** : actually i think mercutio has that cov-

**julieee** : nope i can’t finish that sentence

**capital_of_france** : julie. 

**julieee** : i know i hated it too

**bromeo** : bennyyyy come to my class i need help carrying my books

**the.ben** : i hate you so fucking much

**the.ben** : also no i’m not doing that i’m going to the nurse to check on mercutio

**capital_of_france** : 😳

**julieee** : are you sure that’s a good idea?

**the.ben** : no

**the.ben** : but i’ll do it for him 😓

**julieee** : get me a man like that

**bromeo** : hello

**julieee** : 

**the.ben** : okayyy that’s the bell

**the.ben** : wish me luck

**capital_of_france** : GOOD LUCK ON YOUR GREAT ROMANTIC JOURNEYY 🥰

**bromeo** : GO GET EM!!

**julieee** : YOU GOT THIS!! 💕💗

**the.ben** : BYEEEEE

**bromeo** : ok so we’re planning a double funeral—

**julieee** : i know they’ve only been dating for a month or two but do they want to be buried together

**julieee** : also what are their favorite flowers

**bromeo** : i really am gonna miss him

**bromeo** : ah well i’ll tell my aunt he died how he lived

**bromeo** : kinda dumb and very gay

**bromeo** : 😆🤟

**bromeo** : oh my god i think my cousins dead

**julieee** : i think white roses will suit ben well

**julieee** : oh we could give them each roses in different colors!! it would be so romantic

**julieee** : white for ben and red for mercutio? or yellow for mercutio?

**capital_of_france** : i think white and red

**julieee** : great ty!

**julieee** : paris me and romeo have spanish with mercutio and benvolio next period, we’ll let you know if there are any updates!!

**capital_of_france** : ty!!

—-

—peepeepoopoo

**julieee** : so bad news

**julieee** : neither of them are here

**bromeo** : NOOOO MY POOR COUSIN

**capital_of_france** : maybe she let ben stay with mercutio!

**bromeo** : do you really thing that’s likely

**julieee** : she killed them, paris

**capital_of_france** : ah fuck

**bromeo** : ok who wants to carry my books for me?

**the.ben** : i lived bitch

**julieee** : AHHHHHH OH MY GOD

**bromeo** : HES ALIVEEE

**julieee** : HOW DID YOU SURVIVE

**the.ben** : umm tbh idk??

**the.ben** : she got distracted and started yelling at me about my asthma inhaler while mercutio was bleeding

**the.ben** : and then she noticed that he was bleeding out a little and went to deal with that and kinda forgot i was there??

**the.ben** : anyway his parents came to pick him up and they brought me with them so i can yell at him when he tries to take his bandages off

**mercuti_ohno** : they’re itchyyy

**the.ben** : stfu you’ll deal

**capital_of_france** : do your parents know where you are??

**the.ben** : aha 😄

**julieee** : no one from the school told them??

**the.ben** : we go to public school juliet

**the.ben** : last week we didn’t have an english teacher bc ours went to take care of her sons ingrown toenail

**bromeo** : they’re alive!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! school nurse arc??
> 
> sorry it's been so long since i last updated! I got a ton of work out of nowhere. i'm always glad to keep coming back to this fic, though! and all the comments help so much!
> 
> also, funny story, i made a twitter account for a fake housewife named marianne le rue and today a verified account followed it? which is absolutely insane to me. the account is @rue_marianne if you're curious!
> 
> anyway, my school nurse is this. just exactly this. she actually did send me home when i had pneumonia, but only because i said i couldn't breathe so she legally had to. she wouldn't let me go home when i had bronchitis, though.
> 
> thanks for reading!


	30. justice for hephaestion

—peepeepoopoo

 **mercuti_ohno** : hello party people

 **mercuti_ohno** : i have lived to see another day

 **julieee** : the nurse didn’t kill you??!!!

 **mercuti_ohno** : she didn’t!! 

**julieee** : 🎉🎉🎉

 **mercuti_ohno** : i mean instead of treating my fractured leg she just gave me an ice pack and made me walk back to class but !!! no malpractice !!!

 **bromeo** : you walk a dangerous path, my friend

 **the.ben** : mounsyour got a tattoo. 

**julieee** : she fucking what ?

 **the.ben** : monseur. got a tattoo. on her clavicle.

 **mercuti_ohno** : no

 **capital_of_france** : she seriously did

 **capital_of_france** : it looks 🙃 so bad

 **julieee** : i am hyperventilating. 

**julieee** : what the fuck

 **bromeo** : please say more?? what is it??

 **capital_of_france** : it’s one of those infinity signs but a part of its yellow

 **the.ben** : i can’t process this wtf

 **julieee** : 🧍

 **the.ben** : not my aging middle aged creative writing teacher…

 **mercuti_ohno** : this hurts me more than my broken leg

 **bromeo** : EVEN SHOULD GET FACE TATTOOS NEXT

 **julieee** : wait pause hang on have any of you listened to evermore yet

 **julieee** : looking at you mercutio

 **mercuti_ohno** : all i’m saying is i made a taylor swift spotify playlist 😔

 **julieee** : ok bc i have THEORIES

 **julieee** : i will be dming you later

 **bromeo** : LISTEN. TO. KANYE. 

**the.ben** : fuck you no

 **the.ben** : oh did you hear that destiel went canon again? 😁

 **julieee** : please no more

 **capital_of_france** : wait which time? do you mean in spanish or the theories after what misha said or?

 **mercuti_ohno** : ITS SNOWING

 **bromeo** : IT IS???!!!!

 **the.ben** : i BOLTED to the window holy shit

 **mercuti_ohno** : ITS FINALLY REAL WINTERRR

 **mercuti_ohno** : we better get a fucking snow day

 **mercuti_ohno** : i WILL slash our teachers tires

 **julieee** : don’t forget the subs too

 **julieee** : and the powerlines to be safe

 **the.ben** : wait update 

**the.ben** : her tattoo is for 🙂😌🙂 her “lgbt peeps”

 **bromeo** : tf

 **capital_of_france** : really!!

 **capital_of_france** : “lgbt peeps”. that is a direct quote

 **the.ben** : no thoughts only evens weird allyship tattoo

—-

—direct message: **julieee** to **bromeo**

 **julieee** : so are we thinking vodka for your mom?

 **bromeo** : wine

 **bromeo** : i’ll give it to her while she’s at shabbat dinner with my family

 **bromeo** : she’ll gladly take it 

**julieee** : awesome!! 😊

 **julieee** : vodka for mine then

 **julieee** : but with her caffeine free diet coke ofc 

**bromeo** : ofc 💗😏

 **bromeo** : do you think tybalt can get it for us

 **julieee** : well he is only 17

 **bromeo** : so yes?

 **julieee** : can one of your cousins?

 **bromeo** : maybeeeee

 **bromeo** : but it’ll definitely get back to my aunts and my mom so probably not

 **julieee** : your brother?

 **bromeo** : same problem but maybe? if i time it while he’s fighting with my parents

 **julieee** : ok lmk!! 😊💕

 **bromeo** : will do 😘

—-

—peepeepoopoo

 **the.ben** : ALEXANDER THE GREAT WAS GAY AS FUCK

 **the.ben** : A WHOLE HOMOSEXUAL

 **julieee** : what prompted this ?

 **julieee** : that said… duh

 **the.ben** : the new history assignment on classroom

 **capital_of_france** : YESSS WERE DOING ALEXANDER TODAY 🎉🎉

 **mercuti_ohno** : i should’ve taken ap

 **the.ben** : we have essays three times a week

 **mercuti_ohno** : nvm

 **mercuti_ohno** : oh and i’m still mad at you benvolio montague.

 **julieee** : why

 **mercuti_ohno** : he said Bae Wolf would have homoeroticism and it Did Not

 **the.ben** : well i’m sorry that i ASSUMED 😒

 **the.ben** : the epic of gilgamesh did. and cyrano de bergerac did. and the iliad did. 

**mercuti_ohno** : ugh fine

 **mercuti_ohno** : MAYBE i’ll forgive you

**—**

**the.ben** : come on meyers. say it. fucking say it. 

**mercuti_ohno** : history?

 **julieee** : yup

 **the.ben** : on and on about the fucking empire 😒

 **the.ben** : WHAT ABOUT HIS BF?? HUH??

 **the.ben** : JUSTICE FOR HEPHAESTION

 **capital_of_france** : yeah!! justice for hephaestion!!

 **the.ben** : mr meyers you better fucking say it—

 **the.ben** : i have a powerpoint ready to gp on why he’s gay

 **julieee** : god this class is boring

 **mercuti_ohno** : hey julie, wanna tell me your evermore theories?

 **julieee** : hell yeah 😏 

**julieee** : so obviously dorothea and tis the damn season are the same story

 **julieee** : but have you considered gold rush?

 **the.ben** : HOLY FUCK HE SAID IT

 **capital_of_france** : OH MY GOD HE DID

 **the.ben** : “and one last thing about alexander- he was probably gay” YESSS SHSJSJS

 **the.ben** : VINDICATION 💪

 **mercuti_ohno** : TELL ME MORE LATER JULIET

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so so sorry this took me so long? i started this a few days after the last chapter and i simply... never finished it. i forgot time was real. sorry!!
> 
> so yeah my teacher did get this exact same weird allyship tattoo? except i think she got it on her wrist. it is in fact for her "lgbt peeps." as an lgbt peep, i must say that i'm confused.
> 
> as of this chapter, everything's pretty much set up for the final arc. i might do a chapter or two before then? and then that way i'm good to go after that arc to finish the story or i can keep writing. right now the plan is to do a chapter or two (possibly another music chapter), write the last arc, and then maybe start a sequel to this, most likely in the exact same format, but maybe introduce some more characters. and yes the last arc heavily features tybalt!
> 
> thank you so much for reading and all the comments!


	31. road trip

—peepeepoopoo

 **the.ben** : hello party people

 **the.ben** : ready for a great day of school?

 **capital_of_france** : no

 **mercuti_ohno** : FUCK no

 **the.ben** : me too!!

 **capital_of_france** : i have. three essays due tomorrow 🙂

 **the.ben** : 3.5 for me 😛

 **mercuti_ohno** : drop ur classes

 **the.ben** : have you considered that i simply. cannot

 **mercuti_ohno** : that’s loser behavior

 **the.ben** : it is very much not it's hard worker behavior

 **mercuti_ohno** : loser

—-

—direct message: **t.cap** to **the.ben**

 **t.cap** : have you seen romeo today

 **the.ben** : he texted me that he wasn’t coming to school today idk

 **t.cap** : fuck

 **t.cap** : juliet sent the exact same message

 **the.ben** : it could be a coincidence?

 **the.ben** : julie's smart she wouldn’t do something stupid

 **t.cap** : we have shared find my iphone

 **t.cap** : she's in a car heading west

 **the.ben** : oh fuck

 **t.cap** : my bets to vegas

 **the.ben** : OH FUCKITY FUCK

—-

—peepeepoopoo

 **the.ben** : romeo and juliet, one of you better respond right fucking now

 **bromeo** : what’s up benny boy? 😁

 **the.ben** : are you fuckers on your way to vegas

 **mercuti_ohno** : HUH??

 **bromeo** : noooooo

 **bromeo** : btw julie can’t respond bc she is not with me she is safe in bed 😊

 **the.ben** : ok at least she’s driving

 **the.ben** : small mercies

 **capital_of_france** : wait why are they going to vegas and lying about it?

 **mercuti_ohno** : impulsive teenagers, relationship moves insanely fast, they got engaged at least twice, and they’re on their way to vegas. three guesses, paris

 **capital_of_france** : oh yeah i see we should definitely stop them

 **bromeo** : wdym driving lol

—-

 **the.ben** has created a new chat

 **the.ben** has added **mercuti_ohno**

 **the.ben** has added **capital_of_france**

 **the.ben** has added **t.cap**

 **capital_of_france** : hi!!

 **the.ben** has named the chat **operation stop ✋**

 **t.cap** : what’s up

 **the.ben** : so how do we feel about making our favorite star crossed lovers not get married at the ripe old age of very young

 **mercuti_ohno** : sounds good! i’m in graphic design i’m ready to go

 **the.ben** : i’m in lunch

 **capital_of_france** : uhh i’m in math so can i wait for the period to end

 **t.cap** : if you meet me in the east parking lot i can drive you bc the period ends in like five minutes

 **the.ben** : sounds good! mercutio i can drive you now

 **the.ben** : we’ll be a little uncoordinated but so are romeo and juliet so it’s ok

 **capital_of_france** : wait tybalt do you know where they are now

 **t.cap** : somewhere in iowa

 **t.cap** : they have a few hours on us but not many

 **mercuti_ohno** : wait but how long is this drive gonna be bc um

 **mercuti_ohno** : ben ur awesome and all that but i’m not sure we want to be stuck in a car together for 11 hours

 **the.ben** : 29 hours

 **mercuti_ohno** : 🤨

 **the.ben** : yeah i’m not thrilled about it either

 **the.ben** : at least you have meeeeee

 **the.ben** : i’ll grab some food and meet you by the car

 **mercuti_ohno** : whooooooo!! road trip!!

 **t.cap** : paris i’ll do the same for us

 **t.cap** : wait i’ve got a weird question

 **t.cap** : is paris even the capital of france

 **capital_of_france** : fantastic question

—-

—peepeepoopoo

 **mercuti_ohno** : hey romie hey julie i awfully like you guys and i sure would love it if you didn’t elope in las vegas

 **bromeo** : wdym 🤨 i am very sick and i am at home in my bed

 **bromeo** : so is julie who is not currently with me

 **the.ben** : top notch lying romeo!

 **bromeo** : thanks!

—-

— operation stop ✋ 

**the.ben** : ok i’m gonna start driving so i can’t text 

**the.ben** : but if we drive 9 hours to south dakota, take a brief break, and keep going we can maybe hit wyoming by 3am and sleep for a few hours

 **t.cap** : sounds good

 **t.cap** : i just turned 18 so i can get a hotel room

 **mercuti_ohno** : ben says that’s great

 **mercuti_ohno** : ill try to find some good restaurants or rest stops on our way

 **capital_of_france** : we didn’t even get lunch 💔

 **mercuti_ohno** : at least they brought us :) gross school lunch sandwiches :)

—-

—peepeepoopoo

 **mercuti_ohno** : hey romeo are you by any chance planning to take a break and if so for how many hours

 **bromeo** : i am in my bed :)

 **mercuti_ohno** : k

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys!! sorry this took me so long, i literally have no idea what i've done for the last few weeks. i'm gonna blame it on pre calc and be done with it.
> 
> so basically just another chapter or two and we'll be done! i might do a sequel or something if that's something that people would want. we'll see!
> 
> also i've decided that the characters live in wisconsin to make the times work. i am in class right now but i do also know driving times all across the usa (thanks google) so i still feel like i learned something.
> 
> tysm for reading!!


	32. paris discovers kinning

—operation stop ✋ 

**mercuti_ohno** : ben wants to know if you guys are good on gas

 **capital_of_france** : we are

 **mercuti_ohno** : us too

 **mercuti_ohno** : THIS IS SO BORING I HATE WYOMING

 **mercuti_ohno** : WHY ARE THERE SO MANY COWS

 **mercuti_ohno** : 🔪🐄

—-

—peepeepoopoo

 **capital_of_france** : i know romeo and juliet are still pretending they aren’t on the way to vegas but does anyone know what kinning is

 **mercuti_ohno** : i’m sorry what

 **capital_of_france** : yeah i keep seeing people talk about kinning

 **capital_of_france** : what is it

 **capital_of_france** : tybalt wants me to tell you all that he’s losing respect for me

 **bromeo** : i think it’s when you just really heavily relate to a character and feel a connection to them

 **mercuti_ohno** : 👁 

**capital_of_france** : thanks romeo!!

 **capital_of_france** : i’m going to ask the twitter people

 **capital_of_france** : ok someone just said that it’s when you identify as a character and don’t just relate to them

 **mercuti_ohno** : 😀

 **capital_of_france** : they’re a 25 year old furry

 **capital_of_france** : i’m confused

 **mercuti_ohno** : they think 🙂 that they ARE. fictional character

 **mercuti_ohno** : a fictional made up character

 **bromeo** : i think the definitions have changed a little over time

 **mercuti_ohno** : glad you have all the answers romeo

 **capital_of_france** : oh someone dropped a link they seem helpful

 **capital_of_france** : uhh they linked me to a kinning forum?

 **capital_of_france** : someone said the word kinnie is a slur

 **mercuti_ohno** : k*nnie

 **capital_of_france** : oh they’re saying that they mean kinnie in the derogatory sense bc they mean people that aren’t really the characters they just relate to them

 **capital_of_france** : they’re “appropriating kinning culture”

 **mercuti_ohno** : kinnie (derogatory)

 **capital_of_france** : this is a little bizarre

 **capital_of_france** : what the fuck is an otherkin

 **capital_of_france** : 🏃

 **capital_of_france** : i kin king charles ii of spain

 **capital_of_france** : i kin socrates, platos favorite oc who he was a little bit in love with

 **capital_of_france** : i kin the abstract concept of the universe

 **capital_of_france** : i kin the lady in hoziers hit song take me to church

 **capital_of_france** : i’m dragonkin but only the specific dragon from the never ending story

 **capital_of_france** : i kin sofia from sofia by clairo

 **mercuti_ohno** : hang we need to switch drivers bc benvolio wants to text

 **capital_of_france** : he’s letting you drive?

 **mercuti_ohno** : our relationship is built on mutual trust and respect, and more importantly, benvolio’s screen addiction

 **the.ben** : fuck you

 **the.ben** : he just looked at me and said “i’m down” i am going to decapitate him

 **the.ben** : i kin the personality i pretend to have when interacting with great aunt rhoda

 **the.ben** : i kin cassandra from the myth bc the world would be much better if everyone listened to me

 **capital_of_france** : i’m frogkin but only the specific frogs from the lake at my old day camp

 **the.ben** : i kin spongebob but only the live action version

 **the.ben** : i kin god but that’s already taken and i don’t like having doubles :/

 **capital_of_france** : i kin the top left pixel at second 1:03:12 of shrek

 **capital_of_france** : i kin barbie

 **capital_of_france** : i kin roz from monster inc

 **capital_of_france** : i kin the one specific raindrop that just hit my window

 **the.ben** : i kin blackjack from pjo before rick riordan forgot that he was originally a girl

 **the.ben** : i fictionkin myself. i am actually fictional. deal with it. 

**the.ben** : i kin alexander the greats boyfriend

 **the.ben** : i kin agamemnon’s wife

 **julieee** : clytemnestra 🥰

 **the.ben** : i kin those “not to me not if it’s you” fuckers

 **the.ben** : JULIE WHY ARE YOU TEXTING ROMEO CANT DRIVE

 **julieee** : wdym drive

 **capital_of_france** : i kin my african violet, her name is theo

 **the.ben** : i kin michelangelo’s david

 **the.ben** : i kin michelangelo (artist)

 **the.ben** : i kin michelangelo (ninja turtle)

 **capital_of_france** : i kin that angel in the sistine chapel that’s flipping off the pope

 **capital_of_france** : i kin leonardo da vinci's left hand

 **the.ben** : nvm i do actually kin god. i don’t remember creating the other god kinnie

 **capital_of_france** : i kin a strawberry frosted donut with sprinkles

 **capital_of_france** : can we stop for donuts

 **the.ben** : i don’t think we have time but maybe if you find a drivethru 

**capital_of_france** : tybalt said he’s gonna buy me a donut anyway 😁

 **capital_of_france** : i kin you. yes you. i just committed identity theft. 

**capital_of_france** : i kin elsa from frozen but specifically the original version where she went nuts and killed people

 **the.ben** : i kin my minecraft oc, adam

 **capital_of_france** : i kin every bird on the planet, we are a hive mind

 **the.ben** : i kin rick from rick and morty and i am not taking criticism

 **the.ben** : i kin the creator of the hunger games rp forum i joined when i was 11

 **capital_of_france** : i kin the concept of kinning, i’m strange and mildly frightening and should be done away with

 **the.ben** : i kin donald trump, doubles dni, somebody kill him

 **capital_of_france** added **t.cap** to the chat

 **t.cap** : i pulled over just to tell y’all how much i fucking hate you

 **the.ben** : i’m god don’t make me enact divine punishment

 **capital_of_france** : how much further do we have

 **the.ben** : like nine hours

 **t.cap** : FUCK

 **capital_of_france** : wait how are we getting home

 **capital_of_france** : oh god do we have to drive all the way back

 **capital_of_france** : we brought ?? nothing with us. we’ve got like maybe 80 total dollars between all of us oh my god

 **the.ben** : it’s ok i’ll just kin an airplane 😊

 **t.cap** left the chat

—-

—operation stop ✋ 

**the.ben** : i pulled over too

 **the.ben** : can we just say fuck it and eat a nice meal

 **the.ben** : my legs are cramped and i’m losing my mind

 **t.cap** : yeah i’m caring less and less about stopping this wedding 🤷 this is a them problem

 **capital_of_france** : i bet there’s an olive garden somewhere around here

 **mercuti_ohno** : ignoring that

 **the.ben** : tybalt where are romeo and juliet at

 **t.cap** : also in wyoming but a little bit behind us? like maybe an hour?

 **mercuti_ohno** : oh god i bet they’re stopping for a nice date

 **capital_of_france** : ok so we have time for a meal not consumed in a car!!

 **t.cap** : not at olive garden

 **mercuti_ohno** : ben i’m gonna take you on a WAY nicer date then romeo is for juliet

 **mercuti_ohno** : it’s gonna be all romantic and shit

 **the.ben** : awww all that just to show up romeo? 🥰 i feel loved

 **mercuti_ohno** : ofc ofc

 **mercuti_ohno** : if you kin hephaestion i kin alexander the great 💗

 **the.ben** : you are NOT alexander the great

 **the.ben** : what have you conquered

 **mercuti_ohno** : your heart 💕

 **the.ben** : gross stop kinning romeo i will kill you

 **mercuti_ohno** : will you still kill me if i buy you ice cream

 **the.ben** : nope!! buy me food

 **mercuti_ohno** : only bc ur cute

 **the.ben** : and i’m only buying lunch bc you're hot

 **t.cap** : stop flirting in the gc

 **the.ben** : ur just jealous bc i’m getting ice cream

 **mercuti_ohno** : hey you know what else you can eat-

 **capital_of_france** : STOP

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys!!
> 
> this chapter was not as long a wait this time so yay me! the kinning forum is a real thing and i regret asking twitter why the definitions of kinning are different than they were years ago. don't look a gift horse in the mouth. i'm scared for society.
> 
> in other news, this work is now part of a series so if i end up doing anything else in universe you'll be able to find it! i might change the name later, i was just trying to make it before i forgot.
> 
> the next chapter will probably be the last one but i'm not quite sure yet. thank you so much everyone who's read this far in, it means so much. have a great day!!


	33. finale

—operation stop ✋ 

**capital_of_france** : great news guys we’re almost there!!

 **mercuti_ohno** : define almost

 **mercuti_ohno** : bc you sent that exact text word for word three hours ago

 **capital_of_france** : hey in context that WAS almost there

 **capital_of_france** : but we actually just entered the city

 **the.ben** : mercutio you WATCHED me park as you had that conversation

 **mercuti_ohno** : 🙄

 **mercuti_ohno** : this has been a terrible 29 hours

 **t.cap** : i’m never eating gas station food again

 **t.cap** : same w drivethrus

 **the.ben** : where did you guys park

 **the.ben** : and where are romeo and juliet

 **t.cap** : we’re by the casino with the lights on the roof

 **mercuti_ohno** : tybalt buddy you just described every building in this city

 **t.cap** : they’re star shaped

 **capital_of_france** : ✨💫🚨💡💡⚡️🌟💫💫⭐️🌙

 **capital_of_france** : does that help

 **mercuti_ohno** : yea actually

 **t.cap** : romeo and juliet are maybe two blocks from you guys? in the opposite direction that we are

 **t.cap** : the closest wedding chapel is a few blocks past them and it’s in “Farfire Casino’s” basement

 **the.ben** : fantastic let’s move

 **t.cap** : hang on is anyone gonna tell me who the screaming people are

 **mercuti_ohno** : the???

 **capital_of_france** : yeah there’s a huge crowd of screaming people

 **capital_of_france** : i think it’s a parade or something bc they’re wearing matching costumes

 **capital_of_france** : i love the neon 😊

 **t.cap** : oh my god why are there so many of them

 **capital_of_france** : UHHH THEYRE GETTING PRETTY CLOSEE

 **the.ben** : OH FUCK I SEE THEM

 **mercuti_ohno** : PREPARE TO BE SWARMED 👊 

—-

—peepeepoopoo

 **bromeo** : i’m very much still at home in bed but who the fuck are these people

 **bromeo** : am i at a rave and no one bothered to tell me

 **t.cap** : yeah ok idk where the fuck i am but this crowds pretty lit

 **t.cap** : nvm i’m covered in glitter

 **t.cap** : romeo i hate you so fucking much

 **the.ben** : i can’t see anything

 **julieee** : romeo baby 💕💕 where are you 💕

 **the.ben** : THERE IS GLITTER ON MY GLASSES. 

**bromeo** : julie i don’t see you 🥺🥺

 **mercuti_ohno** : are any of us together rn

 **the.ben** : nope i don’t think so

 **mercuti_ohno** : ok team what’s the plan

 **capital_of_france** : it’s like a riptide, don’t try to fight it. try to walk perpendicular to the crowd

 **t.cap** : when you’re facing them go left

 **capital_of_france** : ☝️

—-

—direct message: **bromeo** to **julieee**

 **bromeo** : the crowds carrying me rn its so awesome

 **julieee** : cool!! i’m almost to the chapel

 **bromeo** : me too! the people are actually really nice

 **bromeo** : these guys are names garth and sparkle

 **bromeo** : sparkle says the chapels on the way

 **julieee** : k baby 💖

 **bromeo** : hey laurence from school is here

 **bromeo** : why is he here

—-

—operation stop ✋ 

**t.cap** : hey guys bad news romeo and juliet are at the chapel

 **the.ben** : fuck

—-

—peepeepoopoo

 **mercuti_ohno** : where are you fucking dick assface motherfuckers

 **julieee** : i’m sick in bed

 **bromeo** : me too

 **julieee** : cough

 **mercuti_ohno** : if i find you fucking fuckfaces getting married i will personally castrate romeo

 **bromeo** : hey what the fuck bro

 **mercuti_ohno** : NO TEEN PREGNANCY

—-

—operation stop ✋ 

**t.cap** : i’m almost there where are you guys at

 **the.ben** : my glasses are covered in glitter i can’t fucking see

 **mercuti_ohno** : sorry babe ur on ur own i gotta punch romeo

 **the.ben** : ❤️❤️

 **the.ben** : make sure to tell julie that she can do better

 **t.cap** : facts

—-

—peepeepoopoo

 **mercuti_ohno** : come on guys you don’t have to do this

 **mercuti_ohno** : juliet don’t you want to go to college and cry over your papers

 **mercuti_ohno** : romeo don’t you want to be a real frat boy

 **capital_of_france** : like pinocchio!!

 **julieee** : but we’re in love 🥰

 **the.ben** : don’t you want to savor being young and in love before you commit to getting married

 **the.ben** : also julie you can do sooo much better

 **bromeo** : we’re going to get married whether you support us or not

 **bromeo** : but we’re at home actually so idk what you’re talking about

 **julieee** : yup

 **mercuti_ohno** : don’t you want a big grand wedding

 **the.ben** : we can help you plan it!! it’ll be so great

 **capital_of_france** : julie you can pick out a white dress

 **julieee** : i am technically wearing a white dress

 **bromeo** : it’s so pretty 😍

 **the.ben** : you don’t have to do this

 **t.cap** : IM AT THE CHAPEL

 **t.cap** : ROMEO YOU GOD AWFUL PIECE OF SHIT WHERE IS MY COUSIN

 **bromeo** : omg hey bestie!!

 **julieee** : tybalt don’t worry i want this 🥰

 **julieee** : HOLY SHIT TYBALT JUST TACKLED ROMEO

 **the.ben** : i’m a little lost but i’m almost there maybe i think

 **mercuti_ohno** : i’m like a block away hang on

 **capital_of_france** : same i can see the building 

**the.ben** : i’m actually very lost

 **the.ben** : can one of you scream so i know where i’m going

 **the.ben** : thanks mercutio

 **mercuti_ohno** : i’m getting in the elevator now

 **mercuti_ohno** : this is for your own good guys

 **julieee** : don’t worry mercutio we’re in love 💞 let us get married

 **mercuti_ohno** : i will tackle you right next to your fiancée

 **mercuti_ohno** : i know you want to graduate as valedictorian juliet

 **mercuti_ohno** : how will you do that with TEEN PREGNANCY

 **julieee** : ok you skipped a few steps there mercutio

 **julieee** : birth control is a thing

 **mercuti_ohno** : AHA IM IN THE BASEMENT

 **the.ben** : i see the building!

 **julieee** : hey hey when y’all get here can you check on romeo actually

 **t.cap** : he's good

 **t.cap** : :)

 **t.cap** : i have no vested interest in his wellbeing

 **julieee** : ok maybe we don’t have to get married right now

 **the.ben** : you can get married the summer after junior year!! we can get you a really pretty summer dress

 **capital_of_france** : think of how nice the venue will be 💐

 **the.ben** : who cares about the venue? you’re gonna be the bride at YOUR wedding

 **julieee** : that does sound nice actually

 **capital_of_france** : ok the doorman won’t let me in

 **capital_of_france** : why won’t he let me in

 **julieee** : ok i’m thinking about how hot i’ll be in a wedding dress sorry romeo 💕

 **the.ben** : YOURE GONNA CALL IT OFF?? ily julie you’re so smart you’re the best

 **julieee** : 💖💓💓

 **the.ben** : did tybalt let him up

 **julieee** : no i think he likes that romeo has to be quiet

 **mercuti_ohno** : hey benvolio crazy idea

 **mercuti_ohno** : what if WE got married

 **the.ben** : oh

 **the.ben** : huh

 **the.ben** : well i don’t hate you

 **capital_of_france** : THE STUPID DOORMAN WONT LET ME IN HE SAYS IM TOO YOUNG TO GET MARRIED

 **capital_of_france** : sir i KNOW that’s the whole POINT

 **mercuti_ohno** : ok so

 **mercuti_ohno** : i know it’s a bad idea

 **the.ben** : might be fun though

 **mercuti_ohno** : yeah

 **the.ben** : soo

 **the.ben** : actually wait NONONO stupid idea bad idea

 **mercuti_ohno** : we came here specifically BECAUSE we’re too young to get married

 **the.ben** : we’re children

 **mercuti_ohno** : we’re stupid

 **mercuti_ohno** : i can’t handle responsibility

 **the.ben** : i can’t even commit to what i want for lunch

 **mercuti_ohno** : we don’t even have parent permission

 **the.ben** : oh yeah how did you guys get permission

 **the.ben** : you’re not 18

 **julieee** : we got our parents drunk 💘

 **the.ben** : ah

—-

 **t.cap** : i can’t believe we have to drive another fucking 29 hours

 **t.cap** : romeo as soon as we get back home in actually going to kill you

 **bromeo** : my whole body already hurts from being pinned down for twenty minutes

 **t.cap** : good

 **t.cap** : fuck you

 **julieee** : at least we had a good experience!

 **the.ben** : did we julie 🙂

 **julieee** : well i did

 **mercuti_ohno** : you and romeo deserve each other

 **julieee** : thanks 💖💖

 **mercuti_ohno** : not a compliment

 **the.ben** : mercutio's gonna drive for an hour and then we’ll switch

 **the.ben** : julie let’s plan your real wedding!! that won’t be in vegas!!

 **julieee** : yes!!! i’m gonna go dig for some wedding dress pics hang on

 **capital_of_france** : ok but what’s the color scheme

 **mercuti_ohno** : romeo bro i love you but please never do that again

 **bromeo** : why not

 **bromeo** : i think we should go on road trips more often actually

 **mercuti_ohno** : ok but next time can we PLAN

 **julieee** : i’m thinking light pastels, like lavender, light green, baby pink, loads of white

 **mercuti_ohno** : we missed so much class

 **mercuti_ohno** : ben's gonna have to write so many essays for me

 **the.ben** : ooh we’re going traditional

 **the.ben** : outdoor or indoor wedding

 **the.ben** : i missed so many tests romeo

 **the.ben** : i hate you

 **capital_of_france** : outdoor for a summer wedding

 **julieee** : yeah i agree

 **julieee** : and i’ll be old enough to get legally married and everything 😊

 **mercuti_ohno** : ok 29 hours let’s go

 **t.cap** : hopefully someone kills romeo before then

 **julieee** : please don’t

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And it's done!!
> 
> Thank you so much for sticking with me to the end. I really didn't think I'd make it this far into a benvolio/mercutio romeo and juliet high school au chatfic but here we are, apparently. I've had so much fun writing this and I can't believe it's finished.
> 
> I love you all, thanks so much for reading!


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